Pope Cat Simulator

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You're an utterly ordinary passerby, living an utterly ordinary life. Then one day, a System descends upon you and orders you to become the pope in another world, claiming you're the chosen pope it has been searching for over the past twenty years!

You: Don't people usually go to another world to become heroes? Why am I a villain from the start?

System: Why do you immediately assume you're a villain?

You launch into a long speech for this artificial idiot, explaining how the church has been the villain in ACG works eight hundred times over, listing all the scandals of a certain real-world church, and emphasizing that you're a good person who absolutely won't become a villain.

But none of that matters. You're still forced to bind yourself to this System.

And the real surprise is yet to come...

System: System under attack... Warning, warning, activating defense @#@*... Data lost. Data lost! Dear user, welcome to the Fandom Girl Simulator System. Please enter your name... Warning, warning!

You, who's been screwed over by this garbage, malfunctioning System and turned into a cat upon arrival: ?

You: Meow meow meow meow meow!!!

What is even going on?! Where's my cheat ability?!

The next second, the System cuts out as if someone has muted it, and another voice comes through.

A voice: Hello, I'm your guardian angel, Miel. I tried to send you back, but its energy has run out. It can't function until it's recharged. I'm sorry.

You: Hello, what did you say your name was?

Whoa, isn't that the Church's most famous battle angel, infamous for all those scandals? You can bring him along when you transmigrate, too?

You finally understand why you're the chosen pope. Turns out you've got a great angel with you!

Miel seems apologetic. He never imagined the System would be so fragile. That one squeeze turned your Pope Simulator into a Fandom Simulator. As compensation, the angels will use all their lifetime experience to help you become pope and get home.

You take it all in stride. You look at your nonsensical, chaotic, mismatched status screen and say with conviction, "It's fine. Being pope and being a fandom girl are basically the same thing."

Miel: I meant that I have religious experience.

You: I meant that I'm really good at fandom.

You stare at each other.

Then you notice something behind the archangel's wings.

The archangel splits into many angels right in front of you.

Haha, so he isn't one angel, but a whole group of angels.

Your vision goes dark as you realize you accidentally dragged off every named angel in the Church when you transmigrated.

Is it still too late to pretend to be a cat who can't understand human speech?

Reader's Guide

1. It's called Pope Simulator, but it tackles religion and being pope by approaching them like fandom.

2. The main text uses third-person narration. In the Pope Simulator, the protagonist's real body is a cat. Their other secret identities include men, women, nonhuman things, and even shared accounts the angels have taken over. This is a no-romance cat story (?) The angels are genderless, and the protagonist's relationships are purely platonic. It's a semi-ensemble cast (fist pump).

3. Half comedy, half serious drama. All forms of writing advice and unhinged comments are unwelcome. Strange comments will be deleted.

4. The concept and draft copy have been archived.

5. Other details undecided.

Theme: People can save themselves