Run a Scholarly Background Check Before Assigning the System

For five years running, 0081 has been the top salesperson in the System sales market. The Systems it sells have high client survival rates, high satisfaction ratings, and high rates of reuse.

--

One day, its supervisor called it in for a quick meeting.

Supervisor: The intern didn't do the background checks and assigned four Systems to users who weren't a good fit.

0081: Understood. I can persuade the intern to resign without pay and issue an apology notice.

Supervisor: That's so cruel.

0081: .

Supervisor: Find out who received which Systems, then retrieve them.

0081: Understood.

After reading the entire manga, 0081 considered itself familiar with the plot and chose an identity that could appear anywhere, at any time, without raising suspicion: a little black blob.

The four Systems to be retrieved were:

[Guide to Saving Your Classmates]

[How to Become the Superintendent General of the Police]

[Where Is Dad?]

[Is It Wrong to Kill the Boss and Take Over at the Booze Factory?]

--

A pitch-black, vaguely humanoid creature came closer. It didn't open its mouth, but its voice reached their ears: "You, what are you willing to trade with me?"

Karasuma Kazuo: Is one life enough?

Bourbon: That's not something humans are meant to understand.

Rye: How interesting.

Gin: ...

0081: Wait, who are you?

Karasuma Kazuo: (smiles)

--

No pairings. The protagonist is not carbon-based and has no gender. Contains a small amount of fake human elements and textual horror.

Theme: Do your job well.