Help, Is My Adopted Human Sick?

I want to write a short story in forum-post format, probably about a combat robot x a human orphan.

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[Help! I'm a robot. I adopted a little human two years ago, but he doesn't like to talk. Should I find a human doctor?]

OP: The little human is 18, kind of spaced out, likes curling up in corners, and hates interacting with me. Is he sick? How can I cure him? I'm really worried and hope to get useful advice. I'll give a reward if it makes him happy.

1L: OP, start by telling us more about the reward.

2L: It took you two years to notice the little human doesn't talk? Robot bots don't welcome robots who don't care for or look after humans like you.

3L: I suspect OP doesn't actually have a little human. Ever since robot programs became open source, there are always robots who learn to brag. I suggest reporting them right away.

OP: Okay, the reward is a lifetime robot maintenance card and a hundred-year all-access pass to the Human Amusement Park. (Pinned)

4L: Your loyal robot servant has arrived :)

5L: Oh, my dear Mr. Robot, I shall go find you some ancient human books at once. Please await good news.

6L: I'm dying laughing. Where did the old-fashioned robot scholar above come from?

[Help! My robot doesn't like me. What should I do?]

OP: As the title says, my robot adopted me two years ago, but I haven't seen him for a long time. He suddenly came home recently, but he won't talk to me and has no expression. Does he not want me anymore? Is he going to abandon me? If a robot abandons me, where should I go?

1L: What? Are there really robots who don't like humans these days? Doesn't that violate their programming?

A lighthearted story in forum-post format. That's all for the blurb.

Theme: Cold gears begin to beat for love