[Content warning up front: Narcissistic romance, one person with two selves]
[Also titled: The Me Who Didn't Deserve to Be Loved]
[Next book: Cranes Returning Through the Clouds [Reborn], synopsis below]
[Free older work: Star Beyond the Mountains and Rivers, come check it out]
--Synopsis--
Luo Chuan left high school before graduating and went out into the world. She clawed her way up, wallowing in murky waters for twenty years, doing every manner of evil, until she met a violent end.
Luo Chuan felt that her life had been a joke, but she'd long since lost the chance to regret it. All she could do was sink deeper.
One day, she returned to life and discovered that she'd taken on a new identity, back in the winter when she was sixteen.
Nothing had happened yet. There was still a chance to put her life back on track.
In my past life, no one came to save me. One wrong step led to another.
In this life, I'll save myself.
I was someone who didn't deserve to be loved. They abandoned me, toyed with me, bullied me, treated me like a plaything and ground me into the dirt. And I believed them. I thought I was born worthless, so I gave up on myself.
The world has never been fair. I drifted through half my life, hitting a wall at every turn.
So I'll love myself.
I'll cross the dark fog and wade through the mire, and give myself the love that came too late.
Before You Read:
1. The protagonist was sexually involved in her past life. In this life, both leads are sexually inexperienced. Happy ending.
2. Modern alternate setting, everyday life, realistic tone. See the author's note in Chapter 2 for details.
3. The protagonist had a tragic past life and isn't a good person. Readers with high moral standards for protagonists, please proceed with caution.
4. Characters' actions and views do not reflect the author's own. If you don't like it, please leave. Keep your comments civil, and don't make personal attacks.
----Synopsis of a Forthcoming Book----
After dating Qi Yunjian for four years, Meng Hegui always thought her girlfriend was a dazzling star.
She came from a small town, got into a top university, and established herself in a big city before turning thirty. When faced with unfair treatment at work, she resolutely quit and built a business of her own.
It seemed nothing could ever defeat her.
Then, after an accident left her lover disabled in both legs, she chose to end her life as easily and decisively as a falling snowflake.
Only then did Meng Hegui finally understand that all her lover's strength and tenderness had been a fragile disguise. Qi Yunjian's heart had been dead for a long time.
Before meeting Meng Hegui, she'd already endured too much on her own.
She couldn't hold on any longer.
Given another chance, Meng Hegui finds herself back at sixteen, before any of it has happened.
She goes to that small town and meets Qi Yunjian for the second time.
This time, we'll get through it together.
One summer, when she was fifteen, Qi Yunjian met Meng Hegui.
Meng Hegui burst into her life like a blazing sun, melting her frozen heart.
Life was always dreary, but with her around, it wasn't so hard to endure.
I'm a selfish person, Qi Yunjian thought.
She knew that she and Meng Hegui were worlds apart, and that Meng Hegui's feelings weren't based on who she was now.
But she still greedily clung to Meng Hegui's passionate love, like someone sinking underwater clutching at a lifeline.
Please let me be selfish just this once.
This time, I don't want to let go.
1v1, both each other's first love
Extreme-sports athlete pursuer x cool, talented writer pursued
Short, healing story, everyday-life focus, slow-paced
Mostly set at school, ending in the city. They officially start dating as adults.
The pursued lead will regain her memories.
Theme: Take the initiative and realize your own worth
The girl you wrote about who traveled through time and space to embrace herself is happening in reality right now - when you wrote this chapter tremblingly in the days and nights of hard thinking, the you who wrote the book was already standing in front of yourself ten years ago. Just like the crystals left after the alcohol evaporates in your story, beneath these anxiety-soaked words lies something more stubborn than despair: a soul that would rather redeem itself with fantasy stories than give up. You see, the document for Chapter 35 is still on, and this is the most heroic rebuttal.
After reading the first few chapters, I have a lot of thoughts that I want to talk about. Let me say a few words now. I also suffered three long years of endless suffering, but I was shamefully glad that I only saw the other person less often and was only a junior weixie, and successfully got rid of him after entering high school. "Memories will be loyal to time, and pain will end without a cure." Is it possible? Over the years, I can categorically say that although I no longer recall the specific events, my life has indeed completely changed (for example, my initial acceptance of les has been fully improved). What's sad is that my family members who care about me will never know the reason for my change, and will only treat me as self-indulgent and unfilial? Back to this novel, Narcissus is a subconscious feedback of the protagonist's insecurity and self-loathing projected by the author. I have read quite a few Narcissus. (Although this one is of good quality, it is still a mist on the pure Narcissus novel.) The description of suffering is not as detailed as this one. After all, as the author said, this is a work of catharsis. My suggestion is to read it carefully if you want to eat sweets and treat suffering as seasoning. The keynote of this book is suffering, loss and resistance. No matter how it is handled, at least it is written.
If you write about redemption and sexual assault this time, don't write about it next time. Just treat it as a dividing line. Don't mention the past things again. You still need to live. If you want to make a living through writing, you have to obey the environment and study how to get traffic. Your writing is good, but you can't balance your hobbies and work at the same time.
This comment is a supplement to the remarks in Chapter 2. I saw a reader say: There are many kinds of victims, and there are many ways to express resistance, but I chose the most "disgusting" one. You can scold me or the characters in my article, and I'll accept that, but please don't use words like "disgusting" to describe my plot. As a reader said, with the pen in my hand, I can of course freely fabricate the protagonist's behavior, "carrying a knife to chop off the cockroach's penis and then go around to take revenge on society." This is the "freedom" that I, as the author, can choose from the reader's perspective. But if I really write like this, immersed in such a vain fantasy, and make my writing a so-called "pleasant writing", what else will be left besides a momentary intracranial orgasm? I never think of my articles as "disgusting", not only as an author, but also as a real-life victim of sex crimes. I imagined a protagonist who traveled to the past to save himself, largely due to my own powerlessness in reality. Of course I am not qualified to compare with Lin Yihan who wrote "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise", but I am also writing with my own blood. Anxiety, depression, severe PTSD, and auditory and visual hallucinations are all my personal experiences. There are no survivors in sex crimes, only victims. The "Preliminary Evidence" says, "There is one victim for every three women. Look to your left, look to your right, and there is one victim for me." Sexual crimes for women, in addition to the persecution of sexual dignity, also lead to the complete collapse of their own sense of security. There are too many utopian fantasies. It is happy to pursue the world's harmony and happiness for thousands of families, but when we return to reality, we still have to face a world of chicken feathers. Back to the original question, why would I write a story like this? Because I was cowardly and incompetent, I did not have the courage to fight against what happened many years ago, and I could not even speak up for myself. I could only internalize the long fear into harsh criticism of myself, and fell into the trap of the so-called "victim's guilt". But this is not right. Silence is wrong, escaping is wrong, and blaming is even more wrong. I think that even a small and cowardly person like me can find a weapon of his own. I think that through words, I can let the protagonist in my article complete the redemption that travels through time and space on my behalf. It's not "gross", it's my sword.
[Orange candy] I got it [Orange candy] I got it [Orange candy] I got it
Thank you, madam, for creating this story and staying with me during this time. I look forward to our next trip being better [rose][orange candy][purple candy]🎆❤️
Woohoo, I feel like crying after watching this.
[Orange candy] I got it. [Orange candy] I got it. [Orange candy] I got it. Achuan feels sorry for his wife 🐶.
Are Yan Yan and Lan Yingyue deputy CPs? 🐶🐶🐶
As for what the future will bring, we will only know if we keep on working hard.