Why Hasn't My Husband Died Yet?

1.

While visiting Xiangguo Temple, Xie Mingqing suddenly realized he was a character in an angsty historical romance novel about male pregnancy.

According to the plot, the emperor would soon arrange a marriage for him with a court official. But he would defy the decree and run off to become entangled in a passionate, painful romance with a scumbag, starring in a hundred-thousand-chapter melodrama full of physical and emotional torment.

Now that Xie Mingqing knew everything, he was filled with regret.

He wanted nothing to do with trash like that, so he spent the night looking into his intended, Xiao Ling, the youngest son of the General's household.

The Xiao family had been a family of generals for generations. They owned several properties in the capital, an estate in the suburbs, thousands of acres of farmland, and dozens of shops.

The whole Xiao family was loyal and upright, and respected throughout the court. The desperate situation at the border was being held together only through their constant efforts. They were also related by blood to the imperial family, so the emperor would never move against them.

Most importantly, of all the Xiao family's descendants, Xiao Ling was the only one who had come of age.

By Xie Mingqing's reckoning, this young general, who had never left the capital to visit the border, was about to be sent to war.

Xie Mingqing pored over the Xiao generals' records of honors. Every one of them had distinguished himself in battle and earned great merit, yet not one had survived past the age of thirty amid the border's desperate situation.

All he had to do was marry Xiao Ling, and he would have money, free time, and a carefree life. He wouldn't even have to see his husband's face, and after a few years, his husband would die anyway.

After that, he would be a wealthy, carefree young widower. Once the next generation of the Xiao family, whom he would personally raise, grew up, he would become the matriarch of the Xiao household and enjoy a lifetime of wealth and happiness, never again having to suffer through some angsty melodrama.

2.

Xie Mingqing accepted the marriage decree.

The wedding day brought the first unexpected turn.

The household matrons worried that the two of them had no experience and wouldn't know how to consummate their marriage. They added an aphrodisiac to the nuptial wine, but their hands shook and they used too much. That night, both of them were delirious, and they made love until dawn.

Just as they finally came to their senses, the household received urgent news from the border. Xiao Ling hurriedly left the capital for the front.

They had spent only one night together. Because of the drugs, Xie Mingqing's memories were muddled, and he couldn't even remember what his husband's face looked like.

But that one night had left Xie Mingqing pregnant.

Fortunately, this wouldn't affect the overall plan. His husband was going to die anyway, so Xie Mingqing's plans had only changed a little.

He would raise the younger members of the household, take good care of the child, and live happily as a wealthy, carefree young widower with a kid!

3.

A few months after reaching the border, Xiao Ling received word from the capital: the young master of the Xie family was pregnant.

Before the wedding, he'd heard that Xie Mingqing was very frail. In his hazy memories of that night, he also remembered Xie Mingqing as slender and delicate, easily hurt and prone to tears.

He thought pregnancy must be terribly difficult for Xie Mingqing. Xiao Ling wasn't in the capital, leaving him all alone to raise a child and look after the Xiao household's unruly, uncouth younger brothers and nephews who had no respect for the rules.

Xiao Ling was consumed by guilt. From then on, his only thought was to put an end to the fighting at the border so he could return to the capital as soon as possible.

So, four years later, just as Xie Mingqing was happily raising a child and bringing up the younger members of the family in the capital, enjoying his life as a husband whose spouse was away, he suddenly received news from the border.

The desperate border crisis that had persisted for several dynasties had been resolved by Xiao Ling in just four years.

Xie Mingqing: ...

Xie Mingqing's whole world suddenly came crashing down.

-

After returning to the capital:

Xiao Ling: He doesn't even smile when he sees me. He must resent me. I have to make it up to them!

Xie Mingqing: My world has collapsed. Completely.

Xiao Ling: My son is so cute. He never smiles when he sees me. He must resent me too.

Xie Mingqing: It's over. I only taught Dad what to do if he died. I never taught him what to do if he stayed alive.

Little one: (Dad is right there, but somehow I feel like he's already about to leave.)

Xiao Ling: My younger brother and nephew are completely unruly. It must have been so hard for him to take care of them all by himself.

Then he turned and saw his younger brother and nephew, who had been only thirteen or fourteen four years ago and were now seventeen or eighteen, gathered around Xie Mingqing, each trying to win his favor.

Xiao Ling: (grits his teeth) (furious) (grabs one by the collar in each hand) (kicks them both out of the General's residence)

Xie Mingqing: ...Sob, why hasn't my husband died yet today?

[How to enjoy this story:

1. A powerhouse general gong x a frail beauty shou. A silly, lighthearted slice-of-life story, with a difference in build and skin tone. It's an alternate setting, so whatever happens is perfectly natural. Every setting exists to serve the plot and the romance, so don't argue with me! Or I'll meow at you!

2. Some people can get pregnant. Men who can bear children are known as fragrance-bearing bodies. They are naturally frail and strictly controlled, with no way to change their fate except through marriage. The shou isn't freeloading at home: it's hard work to raise unruly, illiterate younger brothers and nephews going through their rebellious phase while also managing the family businesses.]

Theme: Don't believe in fate