[Jujutsu Kaisen] You Said All My Classmates Were Dead?

[Blurb saved as a screenshot] - 2026.02 (I don't know exactly when I posted this a year ago, but it was definitely earlier than this. The dumb author is adding a note for the record.)

Shoko had two classmates: one was an idiot, and the other was also an idiot...

Then one day, she got a call from an unknown number: "Run! Every last one of your classmates is dead!!!"

"Huh?" Shoko forgot to take a drag of her cigarette. She wanted to reach through the phone and throttle the caller.

"You said every last one of my classmates is dead?"

She checked the number on her phone and came to one conclusion: this person was an idiot too.

Satoru Gojo laughed so hard he fell over and rolled around on the floor. "Hahahaha! Hahaha... She said I'm dead!"

"Suguru, Suguru! Hahaha, you've become a cult leader, hahaha..."

Satoru Gojo kept racing around the room, grabbing a bedsheet to cosplay with. "Bow before me! Hahaha, you monkeys! Hahaha!"

Suguru Geto's mouth twitched. "..."

Suguru Geto: "Just smash your phone, Shoko."

Shoko shrugged. "Tried that. They still get through even when I change my SIM card."

Suguru Geto: So what kind of scam call is this, that they won't give up?!

Phone: Send me 50 and I'll change your destiny!!!

Shoko, Gojo, Geto: This is seriously creepy...

"Hey, wait, seriously?" Shoko stood in the morgue in her white coat, looking at her classmate beneath the sheet. "You're really dead?"

The world's coldest joke was that one of her classmates had truly lost his brain, while the other had really been cut in half.

With deep dark circles under her eyes, Shoko took one drag after another. "This isn't funny."

She laughed at herself. "Maybe I should learn a Domain Expansion too? Domain Expansion: Everyone Comes Back to Life?"

In an instant, a burst of white light flooded her eyes.

Satoru Gojo's deafening, demonic laughter burst into her ears with all the force it could muster. "Hahahahahaha! Suguru, Shoko... He said I'm dead!"

"..."

Shoko stared in a daze.

Could they really come back to life???

Shoko: Phone, do you know what caused this?

Phone: Huh? I have no idea!

P.S.:

1. This story retrieves all the knives, and there is a hidden new member.

2. The timeline is a mess.

3. No couples, just friendship. The whole point is to give Shoko a close friend too!

4. Not a traditional rebirth story, not mindless foreknowledge, and not traditionally lighthearted, but it shouldn't be too heartbreaking.

5. Happy ending. The theme is that everyone comes back to life.

Theme: No deeper meaning, just retrieving all the knives.