I'm No Snowfield Tyrant

Possibly serious blurb: In the final years of the Wei Dynasty, the realm stood on the brink of chaos. Emperor Wei sent Princess Linglong to marry Khan Suhe of the Snowlands, securing an alliance through marriage. Then the princess ran off with her young lover! She ran off! The forty-five-year-old khan is now going for a discount! A discount! Our next contestant is Lin Yida, a fierce female bird warrior who can take both a bird-bodied and a human form! Surname Lin, given name Yi, courtesy name Laoda. The ruler of the Snowlands has promised himself to her. What a splendid tale! The bird queen is mighty, her wings are huge, and wherever she flies belongs to her! The bird queen has a saying: I saw it, I came here, so I'm taking it! The bird queen looks left, then right, and pockets the imperial jade seal no one else wants. The unserious blurb: My name is Lin Yi. I'm a female bird, and my flying ship crashed on an ancient, feudal planet. The people here all speak so nicely. Our interstellar civilization is very advanced. So advanced that, to protect the scarce males, the natural reproductive odds for a low-ranking female bird like me are just 0.0032489. I've never seen a man in my life. This planet is poor and backward, but men are everywhere. Someone gave me an identity, a gorgeous man for free, and a huge tribe to go with him. I can afford to support them, so I'm very satisfied. Now there's a little problem. My man is fighting another man, so I went over to help out. Then these half-primitive people started calling me a tyrant. (shrugs) #Three years to conquer the realm, five years to pacify it: some thoughts on the great nation sending Li Yunlong to marry Princess Linglong in her place# #Can the second-rate strategist squad dream of finding a worthy ruler?# #I can't believe a tragic, gorgeous, powerful character like me gets only one line in the blurb# #Our slogan is: Eat lamb! Eat lamb! Eat lamb!# #The main story is told in third person!# #How did a serious story about conquering the realm end up with so much absurd comedy?# Next, a few warnings: 1. This story is full of outrageous tropes. I'll list all the things readers have mentioned so far, and add more as I go. 2. The male lead is forty-five, a widowed khan with three princes. Their culture has a levirate marriage custom. 3. The heroine is lustful and has the personality of a lecherous old rogue. There's no way she'll be devoted to just one person. 4. There will be a great many handsome men, and a great many, many, many people will like the heroine. 5. This isn't a typical story about conquering the realm. The heroine starts among a foreign people, but she isn't a tyrant. She takes a revolutionary path. 6. Someone asked, so I'll mention it: this is a conquest story with an absurd, goofy heroine. 7. She starts out as a matrilocal son-in-law, and initially relies on the male lead to get her footing. 8. I've been writing for a long time. A lot of things that might be warning signs for readers were very common tropes back in the day, so I didn't realize they were a problem. I've listed a whole bunch now. Please don't be angry, and thank you! 9. More to come. Theme: A true ruler is guided by the heart; the benevolent are invincible.