The Stone's Guide to Taming a Husband

A zany, energetic stone x a rebellious, defiant god who challenges heaven and earth

----Have you heard? The whole Celestial Realm is talking about it.

The Celestial Emperor has been raising a broken stone, watering it every day, sunning it every day, and protecting it like a treasure.

The stone is a bit of a blockhead, too, burrowing into the Celestial Emperor's robes every day. How rare! Could it be that the Celestial Emperor has some sort of leverage over them?

It's only a rumor, just a rumor...

Long, long ago, there was an incredibly heavy, hideous broken stone, full of pits and bumps and about the size of a bull. It lay in the deep mountains and forests, bathing in the energy of heaven and earth, until it gradually took on a human form.

That was serious business. If it turned into a human, wouldn't it become another Sun Wukong?

It had to be eliminated!

The Celestial Realm decreed that anyone who eradicated the stone monster would be promoted to minor immortal rank. The ghosts and monsters of the mortal world rushed to claim the reward. They dragged the stone out, smashed it into pieces, then pulled out their weapons and sharpened them against it. They ground and ground, and ground for three whole years.

Alas! Things didn't go as planned. The stone didn't die. Instead, it absorbed the little monsters' energy and, to its great fortune, thundered into a stone person on a dark and stormy night.

After that, the stone person bounced off into the cities of the mortal world. A deep groove, left by the grinding blades, still scarred her forehead. What a terrifying sight! Furious, she searched the world for the blades and monsters that had ground her down. She fought everything in sight, and whenever she saw someone carrying a blade, she asked them to strike her on the head, hoping to find that familiar feeling again.

The common folk thought she was a madwoman, so strange and bizarre that they named her Guai Guai, meaning "Oddball," and avoided her at all costs.

Guai Guai was used to it. She kept searching diligently for her enemies until one day she ran into the rebellious Crown Prince of the Celestial Realm.

Guai Guai: "That's a nice sword at your waist. Draw it and hit me with it."

The Crown Prince: "A mere stone monster, asking for humiliation."

A flash of cold light. Guai Guai was cleaved into a burst of fireworks, scattering in every direction. She flew straight into the Crown Prince's collar, burrowing down as she cackled, "Hahahahaha! Found you!"

Note: This blurb was written on January 19, 2025, and a screenshot has been saved.

Theme: We are but a drop in the vast sea, yet we lament the arrogance of our brief lives.