The Losers' League

[Update paused. I need to get my feel for writing back QAQ] [The rest may be completely rewritten later] Ji Qing was sickly, weak, and frail. Even a strong gust of wind could knock him off balance, and he was famous at the Jiang City Bureau. At least he knew his own limitations and had always understood his place. A useless person who couldn't lift a finger or carry a load ought to stay in his lane and be an office leech. As it happened, the employees his superiors assigned him were all connected hires who weren't much use either. From an underage little white tiger to a lame-legged golden crow, a Pixiu that only let money out and never took any in, and a depression-inducing feifei, they all looked good but were useless. He's a big loser, and the little ones are little losers. Damn! They're a perfect match! * The days of slacking off and shirking work were great. He'd show up right on time, then go off to play with the cats and dogs. It was just that the leader of the neighboring combat unit's first team didn't seem to like him much and kept insisting he try harder. But as the saying goes, slacking off means enjoying the present, while striving means suffering for the rest of your life. Ji Qing: Back! Back! Back! ...It didn't work. Team Leader Qin was domineering and never took no for an answer. Team Leader Qin: "Let's add each other on WeChat so we can get in touch." Ji Qing: "I have WeChat notification sound trauma syndrome." Team Leader Qin: "I'll take you home. Where do you live?" Ji Qing: "Anywhere I feel at ease is home." Team Leader Qin, expressionless: "Then are you going to take responsibility for sleeping with me last night?" Ji Qing's eyes darted away as he answered honestly: "I don't really want to." Because his technique was really bad! * Ji Qing always had countless excuses for slacking off, until the day... The underage white tiger suddenly learned to transform and bit the head off a wicked great demon, saving countless people. The lame-legged golden crow dispelled the terrifying eternal night. The Pixiu that only let money out donated every bit of the gold and treasure it had painstakingly saved to people in disaster-stricken areas. The depression-inducing feifei hummed a song that could soothe troubled hearts. Ji Qing crushed the concrete beneath his feet as he stood on the great demon's head. With a heavy sigh, he said, "Well, to keep from holding the little ones back, I guess I'll have to give up my title as King of Losers o(╥﹏╥)o" #Reader's Guide# 1. A small ensemble cast. 2. An alternate setting, with everyday crime-solving, monster-fighting, and raising kids. The blurb focuses on the logistics department's second team, but the combat department's first team also gets a lot of page time. 3. The villains include men, women, humans, and demons. 4. The demons have all sorts of weird and wonderful abilities. Anything goes ( 5. Recovery attempt failed. Updates will be irregular~ Coming Soon: The Cyberpunk Workplace Survival Guide Si Bai faced three problems in life. 1. An accident during a mission turned him from an ordinary person into a genetically evolved individual. He survived by sheer luck, but the bodily damage caused by his genetic mutation couldn't be completely repaired. He needed an injection of gene stabilizer every seven days, and it cost far more than he had in savings. 2. The leader of the mercenary organization he worked for was unhappy with his performance and was trying to fire him, without even offering severance pay. 3. He couldn't remember joining this damn mercenary organization in the first place. When Si Bai's friend learned he might have lost most of his memories due to his serious injuries, they decided they had to do something to save him, since he couldn't remember anything. First of all, he absolutely couldn't lose his job. Si Bai's job might constantly put him on the edge of life and death, but it covered room and board and offered generous bonuses. So the rescue plan had four steps. 1. Go to the organization's HR department. 2. Play for sympathy in front of the HR manager: "My parents died young, my grandfather is paralyzed, my grandmother has dementia, my younger brother is missing, and my younger sister is insane. I'm the only one in the family working like an ox and a horse to earn a little money to keep us going." 3. Make promises in front of the HR manager: "I'm devoted to the organization and willing to work like an ox and a horse for it. As long as the organization doesn't fire me, I'll even live in a mansion and date men." 4. If none of that works, crawl around on the floor in front of the HR manager like a deranged person. Si Bai pulled the gun out from under his pillow, brought up the manager's profile, and said calmly, "I think there's a better way." Coming Soon 2: Hey, You! Come Over Here and Dual Cultivate! Yu Ai had just taken advantage of his master going into seclusion to strip the mountain bare, planning to sow the seeds of the soul-attracting mei. Then lightning struck him and sent him to an interstellar world, where he became an unregistered Beta. Figuring out how to survive was a major problem. Yu Ai rummaged through his Sumeru ring and poured out two Calm-Heart Pills. "Alphas, are you still struggling with your rut? Omegas, are you still worried your Alpha will be too vigorous for you to handle? One Calm-Heart Pill is equivalent to 999 suppressants with no side effects. Buy one, and from today onward you'll never have to worry about mental power rampages again. Enjoy a celibate life with your hardware asleep and your weapons out of commission!" Late that night, on the day Yu Ai's Calm-Heart Pills became a sensation on the trash planet, the cold muzzle of a gun pressed against the back of his head. The man's voice was cold but weak. "I heard you can make a stronger version of suppressants?" Yu Ai trembled. "I-I can." But when he reached into his Sumeru ring, damn, he'd sold out. To save his life, Yu Ai sprang into action and immediately concocted a Calm-Heart Pill for the man. A few dozen seconds later, Alpha pheromones burst through the air. Yu Ai's face stiffened. This was bad. He'd made the Calm-Heart Pill into an all-purpose tonic. But that wasn't the point. The point was that the Alpha's pheromone rampage triggered his secondary gender differentiation. He went from being an unregistered Beta to an unregistered Omega. And... An Alpha and an Omega were alone together in the same space. Even a ghost knew what would happen next! Yu Ai took off running, but still couldn't escape the Alpha's grasp. * After witnessing the terrifying chaos of an Alpha's rut and being held down and made to cry for seven days, Yu Ai wanted nothing to do with the dual-cultivation technique treasured by the disciples of the Hehuan Sect. Until he used up all his spiritual energy cultivating medicinal herbs. ...Fine, a little dual cultivation wouldn't hurt. Yu Ai told himself he'd only put up with it this once. But after an intimate exchange of body and soul with a certain Alpha, he was surprised to discover that his battered soul had been mended and his depleted spiritual energy was slowly recovering. He could do more than grow herbs now. He could even punch a 150-kilogram strongman and kick a 300-kilogram boulder. Yu Ai: "Hey, you. Come over here and sleep with me again." Theme: Believe in yourself and become who you are.