I Pretend to Be Blind, He Pretends to Be Lame

- Check out the author's other ongoing series, Waste Recycling Station, in the author's column - The day news broke that the Lin and Xie families were joining through marriage, the topic of conversation among the wealthy became: #How to efficiently clear out the family's trash# #The best ways to turn trash into treasure# And the reason those topics came up was simple: The Lin family was marrying off a blind man. The Xie family was marrying off a cripple. A perfect match. When Lin Xu learned he was to marry the Xie family's former heir, he was remarkably calm. Even though Xie Yanqing had been in a car accident during a family power struggle two years ago, and was rumored to be disfigured, with a useless leg and such poor health that even a cold could nearly kill him. Lin Xu: Whatever. I'm blind anyway. But the first time they met, Lin Xu was utterly stunned. Holy crap! I thought he was supposed to be disfigured. How can someone who looks so frail be this alluring? After marrying Lin Xu, Xie Yanqing didn't pay much attention to his blind partner. Until one day, he appeared before Lin Xu in disheveled clothes, and Lin Xu's ears turned red. Xie Yanqing: ? After that, he couldn't help observing Lin Xu. He could sprint downstairs at full speed for a midnight snack, taking four steps at a time; He could compete to be an online troll, his fingers flying over the keyboard like a blur, enough to take on an army single-handedly; In a crowd of more than a dozen people, he could precisely find his nemesis and kick him straight into the pool. Xie Yanqing: Nice. A little bonus scene: The day his nemesis came to take revenge, Lin Xu leaned on his white cane while Xie Yanqing pushed his wheelchair. Looking utterly miserable, they were cornered in an alley. Amid ear-splitting screams, Lin Xu, seeing red, swung his white cane and beat the attackers mercilessly. When he turned around, Xie Yanqing had unbuttoned his suit with one hand, kicked away the wheelchair, and sent two men flying. Lin Xu: ? A medical, medical miracle? Coming soon: Waste Recycling Station As the head of Logistics Group Two at the Special Incident Response Bureau, Ji Qing has always insisted on being a purebred good-for-nothing. As long as he can't be worked to death, he'll keep slacking until he drops. His team members are: A three-legged Golden Crow with a limp, a timid White Tiger who can only meow, a Pixiu who can't hold on to its money, a Feifei who can't solve anyone's problems but can give them nightmares, and a Yingyu who can't learn to swim. Every last one of them is useless. That's why Logistics Group Two is also known as the Waste Recycling Station. Ji Qing: So what? Things took a turn one day when an unknown demon tore right through the courtyard of Logistics Group Two. The crutch beloved by the three-legged Golden Crow was snapped in two. The little White Tiger's freshly washed, gleaming white fur was covered in dust. The Pixiu, who had scraped together a hundred yuan by robbing people, discovered that the hole where he hid his money had been buried under rubble. The Feifei, practicing how to solve people's problems, shuddered and dreamed of an evil spirit. The Yingyu plopped right into a water vat. The little good-for-nothings: ? Looking to die? Ji Qing has more than once delivered a self-criticism at a meeting. Every time, it was the same old story: today, the Golden Crow ate two extra buns; the little White Tiger used two whole boxes of body wash in the bath; the Pixiu dug up the floor tiles; the Feifei disrupted the bureau members' lunch break; the Yingyu wasted water. But this time... The Golden Crow ran so fast he whipped up a tornado and destroyed three mu of a farmer's land. The little White Tiger bit off a demon's head, scaring an eyewitness into the hospital, where they demanded thirty thousand yuan in emotional damages. The Pixiu's room was full of hidden money, and someone reported him on suspicion of taking bribes. The Feifei lulled an entire city to sleep. The Yingyu caused an earthquake on the ocean floor, prompting a flood of complaints from marine residents. And as for Ji Qing... "That big shot from the Combat Division says you slept with him and now won't take responsibility?" Theme: No matter how hard life gets, keep smiling and carry on.