Ancient Cuisine God System, but the Kid Is Only Five and a Half

Blurb:

[After a transmigrator rises to power and frantically amasses wealth, traditional cuisine declines. To prevent thousands of years of traditional food culture from disappearing in the Yan Dynasty, a Culinary God System suddenly appears!]

[The burden of saving traditional cuisine now needs to be shouldered by your mighty, broad shoulders!]

Guangu felt his own chubby little shoulders, confused. Me, Guangu?

Guangu did have shoulders, but they sloped.

*

Guangu was five and a half this year, but already had three years of experience as a kitchen fire tender.

Even when the baby still wore split-crotch pants, he could work with the cook to make a pot of delicious food.

Outsiders ate for the flavor; insiders judged the heat. Even the remote little inn was always packed with customers.

The wicked innkeeper promised him a bright future, saying that when Guangu grew up, he could become the inn's head chef.

Guangu wiped his little grimy hands across his pale cheeks, leaving two streaks of soot, and tended the fire with even greater enthusiasm.

But then the inn was sealed by a group of tall older brothers dressed in sweet-and-sour carp uniforms.

A handsome older brother plucked Guangu from the woodpile with one hand.

With a chicken feather on his head and his little legs trembling, he asked, "Brother, is Guangu also, also a great villain?"

Wei Cheng frowned and looked at his round little belly, which was rumbling loudly. "Yes."

A little hungry villain.

Guangu was taken to the capital as a suspect child. Fortunately, the cool-faced but kindhearted Brother Wei helped clear his name.

To repay him, Guangu did System missions and opened a little eatery for children. Today, he carried a little flower basket to bring his brother wildflower pastries and white-sugar dumplings. Tomorrow, he brought him fresh, glistening meatballs. The day after that, fragrant, fatty dried-and-steamed chicken... Superb flavor, superb cooking, heavenly delicious!

Even the notoriously cold and ruthless Northern Garrison Command was utterly captivated by the aroma!

Meanwhile,

The young lady of the Duke's household clung to her osmanthus milk curds and cherry fritters. "Why do I have to pretend to drink all that coffee with those young ladies every day? It's bitter, astringent, and keeps me from sleeping. I'm not a cow or a horse. Why should I be wide awake all night?"

Several senior ministers holed up in the children's eatery, unwilling to leave. "Every time we have a meal together, we have to go to the Imperial Uncle's barbecue shop or spicy hotpot shop. I've got mouth sores from all that. I just want a bite of authentic, delicious steamed shad, fragrant right down to the bones!"

A common servant boy wept as he ate an affordable rice bowl topped with fresh vegetables and minced meat. "Who wants to eat malatang every day? Every meal tastes the same, it doesn't fill you up, and it leaves you weaker the more you eat. Give me a hearty, affordable meat-and-vegetable rice bowl any day!"

Before long, the children's eatery became famous and made a fortune!

In the face of trends and power, truly delicious traditional food would always prevail!

*

One day, Guangu opened the shop door with a donkey-meat flatbread in his mouth, his eyes lighting up.

"Brother in the sweet-and-sour carp uniform, come try some freshly fried pork ribs!"

Wei Cheng rode over at a leisurely pace and smiled. "Little Shopkeeper Guan, look carefully. This is a flying-fish uniform."

Adorable little chef Guangu x cool-faced, younger-brother-loving Embroidered Uniform Guard Wei Cheng.

Reading notes:

1. Guangu is five when he first appears, and Wei Cheng is twelve.

2. A long, slow-burn story with an extended childhood arc. The romance begins when they are adults.

3. A fictional historical dynasty, a mishmash of eras.

Coming soon: The Dragon-Prince Cub Becomes a Foil in a Farming Novel

Xiong Jiujiu had spent years playing all kinds of Dragon-Prince cubs in collections of Dragon-Prince novels. They never grew up.

Genius, arrogant, fatherless and motherless: these were the words that described him.

One day, a System bug caused the veteran Dragon-Prince cub actor to transmigrate into a farming novel as the foil cub!

The farming novel's protagonist cub: well-behaved, obedient, a soft little cloud.

The Dragon-Prince cub: rebellious, destructive, an evil big steamed bun.

The farming novel protagonist's family: doting grandfather and grandmother, harmonious parents, the whole family working hard in the fields and striving for a better life!

The Dragon-Prince cub's family: a fierce grandfather and mean grandmother, parents at odds, the whole family lazy and spiteful, constantly scheming against one another!

In the end, the Dragon-Prince cub's whole family offended everyone in the village. They were driven out, then struck by a terrible drought and famine, and every member of the family met a miserable end!

Xiong Jiujiu clenched his fist, about as big as a red bean bun, and recited the classic line: "My fate is mine to command, not Heaven's!"

Then he looked at his abusive father, weak dad, fierce grandfather, and wicked grandmother. "Grandpa, you sleep little and get up early. From now on, go study at the village school and pass the xiucai exam so we can get out of paying the land tax!"

"Dad, whenever you drink, you go looking for fights. Fine, tomorrow you go up the mountain and fight a tiger! Don't come down unless you win!"

"Grandma, you know every hole in everyone else's bedding. Go back to the village entrance and gather intelligence. From now on, you follow my orders!"

In the eyes of the Dragon-Prince cub's family, he was just a three-year-old, snowy white and chubby, bouncing around and babbling sweetly as he acted cute.

The Dragon-Prince cub was just about to act fierce when his timid little dad kissed him on the forehead. "Good little treasure, don't act cute anymore. I'll buy you date-sugar cakes tomorrow. Daddy will sing you to sleep."

His abusive father, fierce grandfather, and wicked grandmother all gathered around to coax him, too.

The Dragon-Prince cub smelled the warmth on his little dad and suddenly grew quiet.

This time around, he had the worst possible start. His legs were short, his body was round, and he had no golden finger or genius System.

He blinked and curled up in his little dad's arms, yawning.

Hmph. If they listened to him, then he, the Dragon-Prince cub, would still be willing to magnanimously save them!

Later, the people of Chunfu Village were astonished to discover that the Xiong family had stopped being a bunch of bears!

They built a big house and bought farmland. The drunkard became a capable hunter, and his husband and mother-in-law started a small business. Most unbelievable of all, Old Xiong himself went to the village school, leaning on a cane!

Bonus scene:

Under the Dragon-Prince cub's leadership, the family finally got their lives on track.

Then one day, the farming novel's protagonist cub came looking for him.

The Dragon-Prince cub furrowed his little brows. "What do you want?"

The farming novel protagonist cub looked at him with tear-filled eyes and pulled a little flower with fallen petals from his sleeve. "Xiong, Xiong Jiujiu, will you play house with me?"

The Dragon-Prince cub snorted and grabbed the flower. "Cry, cry, cry. You cried your family apart! I'm not coming home for dinner today!"

Before the farming novel protagonist cub could react, the game of house was already over.

But no one had expected that when they grew up, they really would build a family together!

Blurb written and archived on several platforms on April 27, 2025.

Lively, adorable Dragon-Prince cub bottom x farming-novel top who was a crybaby as a child and grows into a gentle, older-brother type.

Theme: Recording food is recording history. Remember history.