Huh? Aren't I a Player?!

[Unlimited comment threads are open]

You are a mature, burned-out office worker, and not the sort of gamer who chases flashy, high-end games.

One day, an online friend sends you a game flyer: Full-dive VR game, beta testers wanted, max-level account, free just for clicking, gorgeous men waiting for you to play.

It's so garish it looks like an ad for one of those browser games where you deal 9,999 damage with a single hit.

Not interested.

Your rejected friend makes a huge fuss, begging you to play and promising that even if the game has some 18+ elements, it's purely a sleep simulator, with total realism. If you can't sleep well, they'll go to the party Osamu Dazai is throwing at the bottom of the river.

You tell them it won't come to that.

Out of pity for your friend's intelligence, and because you desperately want to sleep, you decide to give their game a try.

Dungeon One: Say Good Night in Namimori Town.

Dungeon Two: Say Good Night in Honmaru Castle.

Dungeon Three: Say Good Night in Yokohama City.

Well, at this point, you might as well go to sleep first.

You flash a sunny smile. It's just a game. Anyone who disturbs your sleep gets taken out.

You'll sleep for a hundred and eighty days, sleeping your way to deliciousness and freshness!

Reader's Guide:

1. An impostor player in a full-dive VR game. A sleep-deprived office worker who takes a laid-back approach to gaming. If you insist on assigning the player an animal, they're a kiwi bird, since kiwis sleep twenty hours a day. The player will stare at all the male characters, might play the top or bottom, and may have people develop one-sided crushes on them, but the player only has eyes for the bed. The player's one true love is the bed.

2. I couldn't think of a name, so the entire story is written in second person. The player has no gender. Their gender matches whatever gender their in-game avatar has. I'll do my best to avoid gendered terms. I solemnly promise we won't pander to men or women, just act completely shamelessly.

3. Everyday comedy. The player is the one the sarcastic characters make fun of. The game class is inspired by FFXIV's Blue Mage, and the companion Palico is from Monster Hunter. Other miscellaneous system settings are made up. Item descriptions will contain lots of jokes and Easter eggs, which I'll annotate, so check the author's notes.

4. The player's real world is mainly based on Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun and Wotakoi: Love Is Hard for Otaku. There will be fujoshi discussing BL and male characters discussing yuri plots, plus some other suitable anime. I'll do my best to make it understandable to everyone.

5. It's mostly everyday life, with no major overarching plot. My writing might not be great, but watching me try my absolute hardest is pretty funny, right? (shouting)

6. That's just how I am. If I don't write pure romance, everything gets chaotic and evil. If anyone acts out of character, that's my fault, so please don't blame the characters or the player.

Theme: Persevere and forge your own path.