Eat! Why Aren't You Eating?

Si Yuan has a hobby that's hard to admit. He likes cooking. And he especially loves getting sudden inspiration while he's cooking. The results are all awful in their own unique ways. But the belief that food must never be wasted is engraved in his bones, so he can't indulge his whims and just throw it away. So he adopted a little mutt, supposedly easy to care for and not picky about food at all, and named it Aichi, meaning "Loves to Eat." Finally, after he'd washed the seasonings off his food and even a dog still wouldn't touch it, he seriously started wondering if there was some creature in the world that could serve as a trash can, so he could adopt one. Then he found a Taotie at his door, with half a God of Cookery still visible in its mouth. Good news: A ferocious beast will eat his terrible cooking. Bad news: An immortal insists on teaching him how to make delicious food. Unimportant news: The world has mutated. Humans have developed strange abilities, immortals and monsters have appeared, and creatures from other worlds have come to visit as guest stars. Everything about it screams apocalypse. After difficult negotiations, Si Yuan and the God of Cookery reached an agreement. Si Yuan: I'll make good food on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, terrible food on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, and go to other worlds on Sundays to gather ingredients. Si Yuan: Friends, making exquisite cuisine is just a job. Making dark cuisine is what life is all about. God of Cookery: Make way, another monster horde is coming. He raises a lava-charred banana, red dates, and giant lobster in his left hand, and a pearl, strawberry, preserved egg, and char siu bun in his right. Grinning viciously, he approaches the monsters. "Eat! Why aren't you eating?!" The food traces a parabola through the air and lands precisely in the mouth of a roaring monster. Then it keels over dead. The God of Cookery is pleased: As your divine power grows, your delicious food has become a proper divine panacea. The other kind has become a proper cursed object, too. Si Yuan: ...Don't you dare insult it. That's food. Taotie: That's my food. Theme: Cherish food.