The Handsome Straight Guy Passes Through a Restriction-Rated Novel

You've entered a restricted romance novel.

You have been assigned a special identity: a poor, beautiful, straight man from the Miao borderlands.

You've acquired the physique of a sickly, easily seduced incubus who bruises at the slightest touch.

You must hide your tail and feed on human emotions and bodily fluids.

You might get pregnant, but don't worry. You're just a wicked passerby.

All you have to do is pass by the protagonist shou and gongs one, two, three, and four.

Gong One and the protagonist shou have a romantic first meeting.

You secretly take photos and sell them to the media for a huge profit.

Gong Two and the protagonist shou break up in a rainstorm.

You shout, "Umbrellas! Eight hundred taels for one, two thousand for two! Don't catch a chill!"

Gong Three decides to elope with the protagonist shou.

You secretly tell Gong Three's parents, breaking up the young couple.

Gong Four threatens to kill himself for the protagonist shou.

You wait on the back hill, eyes full of hope: If you die, can I sell your heart, liver, spleen, lungs, eyes, and corneas?

You're wicked and manipulative, making your way from the depths of the mountains to the world's most elite aristocratic academy.

All you want is to be a happy grifter.

After all your efforts,

you, the hypocrite, make a fortune in style.

One day, close to the end of the story, you accidentally overhear them outside the classroom.

The protagonist shou says to his butler, "Prepare the private jet. I want to take A Yi away before those men do."

You: "?"

Buddy, this isn't right.

Stop.

...And you lot over there, gongs one, two, three, four, and five, please stop it too.

Let's keep this a purely financial relationship, thanks.

You fail to escape and get locked up.

You get pregnant, and can only barely hide the marks on your body as you secretly video call a friend and complain: "When are they going to get this love thing over with? I'm just a straight man with no feelings."

After a long silence, your friend says, "I'm blunt, so I'll hang up now."

The top-ranked competitor for a man's affection, victorious gong x the selfish, sickly, foolish, greedy, beautiful shou who takes first place

Reading notes:

1. Old-school style, a self-indulgent passion project, with Mary Sue, bootlicking, fujoshi, and a whole pot of stew.

2. The shou is both stupid and wicked, but damn, is he pretty.

3. No splitting into multiple versions, and the ending is 1v1.

Theme: A straight man got pregnant. Whose baby is it?