Mr. Dead Wants a Peaceful Life

I don't know who the killer is. I'm the victim.

[The blurb is in first person; the story itself is in third person.]

Me, an ordinary passerby A: ever since I was kidnapped on my sixth birthday, I haven't had a single ordinary day.

It's like I've fallen into some second-rate detective game. Every morning, I'm greeted not by the sun, but by death threats or a bomb on a train. Every night, I say goodnight not to the moon, but to a serial killer or □□.

But that's okay. For some reason, I can't die. Every time I die with my eyes wide open, I watch the police and detectives pacing around the scene. I try to move and give them a scare, while also thinking about what I'll have for lunch tomorrow.

Not that I can eat today's lunch. How is a dead person supposed to eat?

Just as I was celebrating my 3,650th death, my new classmate, Kudo Shinichi, rushed over and knocked the cake out of my hands. Before I could even ask him sadly why he'd done that, he had already bundled up the person who'd tried to poison me and sent them off in a police car.

That was the first night I fell asleep [alive].

Kudo Shinichi is really amazing! If I make friends with him, I'm sure I'll finally have an ordinary, peaceful life... right?

Shinomiya Yayoi was a strange person. That was Kudo Shinichi's conclusion after seeing his classmate at the scene of a kidnapping for the thirty-seventh time.

He had never met anyone so unlucky. Someone poisoned the cake they bought, they got hit by a drunk driver's truck while walking down the street, their home was broken into while they were alone, and even at school they were kidnapped by a trainee teacher with sinister intentions!

After rescuing them once again, Kudo Shinichi couldn't help asking, "Why are you so unlucky?!"

The ever-victimized Mr. Victim replied absent-mindedly:

"Maybe the gods don't like me?"

For Kudo Shinichi, the worst moment wasn't waking up as a child after being knocked out by a mysterious man in black. It was...

"Why are you here?!"

The shrunken Kudo Shinichi shouted in despair at Shinomiya Yayoi, who was crouching in front of him.

Shinomiya Yayoi smiled and patted his head.

"Take a guess."

· The protagonist is immortal. After they revive, everyone's memories are automatically rationalized.

· The protagonist is an eccentric, a natural-born schemer.

· A crossover with Detective Conan and Bungo Stray Dogs, plus a little Jujutsu Kaisen and various slice-of-life anime. Slightly Lovecraftian.

Theme: Striving against misfortune