[Football] Bro, I Hate You!

[Warnings: A shameless troublemaker of a male lead whom everyone hates × a club of unlucky victims + Don't take it seriously! + The romance is ambiguous, with a brotherly vibe. It stays ambiguous, no relationship is ever confirmed, and there is definitely no sex + I chose the top-led pairing because the fun guy can only be the top! Don't bottom-ify the fun guy (if you have to bottom-ify someone, do it to me!)]

#How to rate football's Voldemort

OP: Bro, I hate you! Guys, he is so absurd, he deserves a whole page of history written about him.

1L: Are you talking about him? OP, you're so brave.

2L: Insolence! He's Professor's beloved son, the Knight's favorite disciple, Milan's knight, the crown princess of Ren Palace, Barcelona's loyal servant, Real Madrid's swordsman, a pure-blooded Brazilian and Argentine, Mourinho's confidant, Pep's bestie, Thomas Muller's friend, Kaka's brother, Cristiano Ronaldo's close friend...

3L: Is the person above being sarcastic? How did you manage to hit every sore spot?

OP: If I hadn't witnessed this guy's absurd history, I might actually have believed it.

4L: Professor's beloved son, meaning Wenger cried at a press conference because of him? The Knight's favorite disciple, meaning Fly-Kick Gate 2.0? Milan's knight, meaning when Milan got into trouble, this guy left without a backward glance for a fat paycheck at Ren Palace?

5L: The crown princess of Ren Palace? Thomas Muller's friend? Don't make me laugh. I think Muller wants to kill him. My club can have a crown prince, but it can't have a crown princess like this. A crown princess who plays against twenty-one people at once? No way!

6L: This Barcelona loyalist... well, you can describe him as having one foot in the grave, but you can't say he's already gone to the underworld.

7L: When this guy jumped ship from Barcelona to Real Madrid, the threat letters he received could have circled the earth five times.

8L: Real Madrid's swordsman, as in, after this guy moved in with his cousin, he gave Real Madrid all those humiliating defeats? And this pure-blooded Brazilian and Argentine? He's half Brazilian and half Argentine. How is that pure? Not even a little.

9L: Mourinho's confidant? Pep's bestie? You mean this guy could trade insults with both of them and hold his own?

Copy saved on July 18, 2024

The fun guy (Lezge): the nemesis of club fans, forever Judas, petty, vengeful, collects clubs like stamps.

As a player: Bro, I hate you. As a coach: Bro, I love you.

As a player: Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United, AC Milan, Bayern, Barcelona, Real Madrid, Atletico Madrid, PSG

A stamp collector across Europe's top five leagues, the opposite of a one-club man.

Warnings: 1. Not very friendly to fans of the clubs above, but the fun guy will win trophies for them. He's an outstanding employee, and he brings home every trophy while he's on the job.

2. An S-type character, a thrill-seeker. Insulting the fun guy will only delight him, and he'll even complain that your insults aren't good enough.

3. The career plot is mainly about the fun guy wreaking havoc in football. The romance is ambiguous, with brotherly affection. No pairing in the end. If you ship him with anyone, the fun guy can only be the top!

4. For the national team, the fun guy will keep hopping between countries.

5. No country or club is portrayed negatively.

6. The fun guy is disloyal, unfilial, unkind, unrighteous, shameless, untrustworthy, and ill-mannered. He has no loyalty to any club or national team and is a thrill-seeker. Read with caution if that bothers you.

Theme: A big, fun romp