The Cursed Game Is Bugged. Is It Really Reasonable to Make Customer Support Fix It?

[Don't subscribe. This novel is being made free again.] Lin Shi was a customer service rep for a video game. For ten years, he relayed bug reports to the developers and knelt before players with every patch. His heart had long since become numb to joy and sorrow. Then one day, after another shift that lasted until seven in the morning, the customer complaint hotline got flooded again. "What's with the stats on these cursed spirits?!" Huh? What cursed spirits? Did their game even have monsters called cursed spirits? "Why can that real cursed spirit split itself?! There's no way to lock onto it!" The combat designer should come out and take a beating. But which elite monster was this "real" one? "Sob, can the characters from the banner be revived? Nanami was protecting us in Shibuya when he... sob... Hurry up and release a Nanami SP version! Ahhh!" Lin Shi's eyes widened in shock. At last, he realized something was wrong. Huh? None of the banner characters in their game had ever died! Which genius designer had killed off a character? "So, designer, hurry up and fix the bug! Or we'll send you to fight Ryomen Sukuna!" ...Huh? I'm going to fight Sukuna? For real? Wait, who the heck is Ryomen Sukuna? Let's start over. Lin Shi, a customer service rep who worked himself to death. The players, full of grievances, mistook him for the designer of some outdated game and sent him to an RPG called Jujutsu O Wars. The plot was broken, the combat was broken, and the stats were broken. They could just as well have called it Honkai 3rd. As a hapless customer service rep whose only talents were working overtime, groveling to players, and dropping dead from exhaustion, Lin Shi received only the following after he transmigrated: One game forum. He could monitor public opinion and watch players unleash their dazzling command of profanity as they cursed the designer's entire family every day... And he could get spoilers about the game's future plot. One crossover IP System. It supposedly let him copy materials from other games' databases. A frying pan from Happy XX and Ash XX, a chainsaw from Boonie Bears... Wait, do those cartoons really have games?! There were also summoning creatures from Naruto, emergency food from some other world... all kinds of bizarre stuff. But it seemed like the later items were a little more normal... Lin Shi watched as a slug summoning creature put a person who had been cut in half back together and brought them back to life. Lin Shi: (covers mouth) (ponders) (looks up). This should count as normal, right? A strange person had recently shown up at Tokyo Jujutsu High. He wandered around the foot of the school's mountain, gloomy as if he'd been dead for ten years. Now and then, he would mutter to students passing by, "This one could use a technique buff... We could save this character..." The strangest thing was that this ordinary person, who had no cursed technique, seemed like some hidden master sweeping the floor. Every time he saw a technique a few more times, his own abilities would improve by leaps and bounds. He also had all sorts of strange "cursed tools." For instance, a frying pan that could parry Sukuna's slashes with a single swing, and a Boonie Bears chainsaw that could wipe out Hanami's forest with a single pull. When they secretly crept into the young man's little hideout out of curiosity, all they saw was him scratching his head and yelling at someone they couldn't see. "I keep telling you, giving the Six Eyes the Sharingan isn't realistic at all!" "When you submit feedback, please think about the licensing fees!" #This might not be a comedy, and it might not be serious enough either. The original idea was to write about a quirky, handsome 27-year-old office worker who works himself to death. Check out my older novel: High-Risk Film Set, but College Intern. Can a sunny, energetic college intern whip a workplace crossover into shape? Coming soon: Playing The Sims in the Tang Dynasty Synopsis: The protagonist is a fragile college student who can't lift or carry a thing. He drops into the chaotic final years of the Sui Dynasty, when war breaks out everywhere and rebellions are rising on all sides. Unlucky as ever, he flees for his life. Fortunately, he has a life simulation game System and summons two little people, one skilled in letters and the other in martial arts... The protagonist and his two little people, one literary and one martial, all flee for their lives together. The little people need to raise their skill levels before they can become talented scholars and generals. The protagonist stays cooped up in a private room where he can reset each day, while the two little people grind their skills. The literary one improves his strategic mind by reading the protagonist's explicit fantasy novels, while the martial one trains his skills by cooking and doing laundry for the protagonist every day. At last, the two little people have raised their skill levels enough. The protagonist sends them out to make their way in the world, hoping that when they become successful, he'll rise along with them and be able to eat three steamed buns at every meal. The little people remember the protagonist saying they should follow a lord whose surname is Li and whose given name has two characters. That man will later found the Tang Dynasty. The literary little person thinks: What was his name again... That's the one, Li Li Mi! The Sui Dynasty is about to fall, and the Tang is about to rise. The literary little person picks a rival of Emperor Gaozong of Tang. The martial little person ends up serving the last emperor of the Sui Dynasty. The protagonist: . Wait, that's not right. The protagonist just wants to get to the capital and lie down. Fortunately, during the chaotic final years of the Sui Dynasty, it was normal for strategists and generals to change sides and switch lords again and again. Even Wei Zheng changed sides several times without putting it on his resume. The protagonist tells the little people to find a way into the Tang camp. The two little people nod. The martial one tries to get captured by Li Yuan and his men, but accidentally becomes a fierce general who storms in and out of Tang strongholds seven times. The young Li Shimin can't capture him, and instead he conquers cities and territories for him. The martial little person: Trembling with fear. Li Shimin: It would be a great pity if this general did not serve me! The literary little person tries to make his side lose, using all sorts of mystical wind-reading nonsense to choose his troops. But somehow, whenever he says the wind is blowing a certain way, it is, and every guess he makes turns out to be right. The literary little person: Sweating profusely. Li Shimin: Do we have anyone in our army who can foresee events with such divine accuracy? He must be heaven's gift! The literary and martial little people are frantic. No matter what they do, they can't get the Tang forces to capture them. They're still trying to figure out how to get themselves sent over when Li Shimin finds their weakness and captures the frail protagonist instead! The homebody protagonist: Huh?? What's going on?? The literary little person (guilty): He captured you to threaten me into becoming one of the twenty-four ministers at Lingyan Pavilion. The martial little person (in a cold sweat): He captured you to threaten me into becoming a founding marshal and great general. The protagonist: Huh? And what happens to me? The little people: You'll be made a Grand Pillar of State. The protagonist: . Many years later, the protagonist, whose appearance has never aged, is about to become emperor. The others ask the protagonist: How did you become a prince of the Tang Dynasty with a different surname?! The protagonist: ...I have no idea. The protagonist: I just woke up this morning, and the little people who became empresses, chancellors, generals, wealthy merchants... had draped a yellow robe over me. ↑That's roughly what the story will be like. It covers the final years of the Sui Dynasty through the Zhenguan era. Message: Save the fates of others