They Say Eating That County Magistrate Can Make You an Immortal

"There are so many characters in the Strange Tales world I could have transmigrated into. Why did I have to become a 'super tonic' like Tang Sanzang and the Ginseng Fruit?!"

What do you mean, he's had a green aura around him since birth?

What do you mean, that green aura attracts every kind of demon and monster?

What do you mean, eating him can make you a Taiyi Golden Immortal?

Is this really what should happen to a fine young man from the 23rd century who'd just inherited a fortune worth billions and was ready to lie flat for the rest of his life? Could it be that the heavens thought he was too handsome and wanted him to undergo tribulations?

Once a young Mr. Chu, now a hapless little disaster, Chu Zhao gazed at his reflection, full of grievances he couldn't tell anyone.

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For the sake of his life, Chu Zhao spent day after day thinking hard. He wasn't the only one with the properties of a "super tonic." He could learn from all the people who came before him!

For example, why would the demons and monsters in Journey to the West rather eat Tang Sanzang than steal the Ginseng Fruit? Could demons and monsters be allergic to fruit sugar?

The little disaster slapped his forehead.

Demons and monsters wanted to become Taiyi Golden Immortals and live forever. They didn't want to die!

So what should he do, with a body just like theirs?

Chu Zhao took the civil service exam.

With the protection of his official status and the emperor's dragon qi, surely he'd be safe now?

Chu Zhao discovered in silence and despair that it still wasn't enough. Those demons and monsters kept charging at him as if they didn't care about dying. Some wanted his peerlessly handsome face, while others wanted to eat him.

After thinking it over from every angle, he had another epiphany.

The security arrangements for Tang Sanzang and the Ginseng Fruit were different!

First, set a modest goal: find a powerful patron and upgrade from unclaimed Tang Sanzang meat to a Ginseng Fruit with an owner!

So he latched onto a powerful demon who seemed unmoved by his special constitution, and apparently unmoved by his beauty too.

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Reader's Guide:

1. Chu Zhao, courtesy name Ding'an; Ji Cen, courtesy name Linghan, Daoist name Cenyuanzi.

2. The Strange Tales world is full of beauties, but the county magistrate outshines them all.

3. Set in the world of Strange Tales, with some original ghost and demon storylines. The setting is fictionalized, or you could call it a hodgepodge of dynasties.

4. The characters grow over time. They have both strengths and flaws, and none of them are perfect.

5. Important note: Ji Cen is the female lead. Cenyuanzi is only her Daoist name, a title people use to show respect. It doesn't mean she's a man. Facepalm-and-laughing.jpg.

6. This silly author likes writing doting-husband stories. If you want to see the male lead act cute and clingy with the female lead, feel free to jump in!

7. Update schedule: every other day.

8. I'm terrible at writing blurbs. Hope you enjoy the story, lovely readers!

Coming soon, story one:

Why Can't a Daoist Go to the Western Heaven to Fetch the Sutras?

Li Luo once firmly believed that a person could transmigrate once, but never twice.

So when she transmigrated for the first time, she set her heart on accomplishing some legendary feat on the level of Jiang Taigong fishing or Nezha causing havoc in the sea. She sought a master, studied diligently, and cultivated for a full eight hundred years.

But people plan, and Heaven laughs. Just as she was about to ascend to immortality...

Would you look at that? She transmigrated again.

Expressionless/

Her eight hundred years of cultivation were useless in a mortal body.

Even the innate bitter bamboo, the natal magical artifact she'd spent three hundred years searching for, was sealed away in her soul and impossible to use.

Li Luo: ...Again!

She reincarnated again and again, living through King Wu of Qin lifting the cauldrons, the stratagem of killing three men with two peaches, pointing at a deer and calling it a horse, the dignity of the Han court, and the chaos of the Five Barbarians. Every time, just when she thought she was about to become an immortal and looked forward to the future, it ended.

Until she transmigrated as Jiang Liuer.

One hundred and one transmigrations. Do you know what she went through? (gloomy) (twisted) (screaming) (crawling)

Let's all feel sorry for Li Luo and her psychological scars.

And so, her journey to fetch the sutras went like this:

Li Luo: Boundless blessings to you. I am a Daoist from the Great Tang in the Eastern Land, setting out for the Western Heaven to worship Buddha and fetch the sutras.

You want to know how a Daoist can go to the Western Heaven to fetch the sutras?

Good question. I'd like to know too. Why don't you go to the Western Heaven first and ask Buddha for me?

Coming soon, story two:

Transmigrated into the Tang Dynasty and Became Er Feng's Thorn in His Side (Proceed with Caution, Orange Flavor)

Cheng Shang transmigrated.

The lucky part was that she arrived in the early Tang, a time relatively friendly to women, and was taken on as a disciple by the illustrious Princess Zhao. From then on, she campaigned across the land and won achievements of her own. You ask who's the brightest star in Chang'an City right now?

It's her! It's her! It's her!

The unlucky part was that why did the Heavenly Khan keep finding fault with her? Hadn't she done enough good deeds?

Was curing Princess Mingda's illness a good deed?

Everyone: Of course! A wonderful deed!

Was discovering the health problems of Wei Zheng ahead of time, and adding fifteen years to the life of this outspoken, upright official, a good deed?

Everyone: Of course! A wonderful deed!

And that was before she bent her bow in the northern deserts, rode down Goguryeo, and led expeditions into Europe... With all those illustrious achievements, all that hard work, all that devotion to expanding the Tang territory, what could Er Feng possibly be unhappy about? Surely the famed Heavenly Strategy General wasn't jealous that she could roam the whole world?

As Cheng Shang racked her brain, wondering how she had offended Er Feng, someone tugged at the corner of her sleeve.

"A Shang, it's been a long time since you came back to the capital. Would you take a walk with me outside the palace?"

Princess Mingda stood prettily by the steps, where peonies were in bloom. Her gentle eyes met Cheng Shang's, softening her heart in an instant.

A moment earlier, Cheng Shang had been worrying that her achievements might overshadow the emperor. She'd been planning to ask permission to go to the Americas and bring back high-yield crops like potatoes, corn, and sweet potatoes to please her boss. But her mouth acted before her brain, and she blurted out, "Sure!"

Er Feng, who had just come to the imperial garden for a stroll: "..."

She's dragged Mingda off to have fun again? Tomorrow I'll send that brat Cheng Shang to the frontier! This time, even if Imperial Sister and Wei Xuancheng talk until they're hoarse, it won't help! I'll punish her by making her guard the great desert! Aaaaaah!

Theme: In life, beyond the necessities of food and drink, there are always things we need to accomplish to prove we were here