The World's Dumbest English-Speaking Mutual Aid Alliance [Prince of Tennis]

In my second year of high school, my English score was always below 60. Worried my parents would be concerned, my teacher said I was taking the bucket effect to its extreme: I could make the top fifty, but insisted on slacking off until I ranked around one hundred. The tutor they hired was very old-fashioned and made me memorize 300 words a day.

I was at the rebellious age, so I decided to carry out the first act of defiance against my parents in my life: learn English on my own.

The people I met online were thoughtful and considerate, while translation apps were cold and merciless. My English buddy and I, one Japanese and one Chinese, came up with our first way to study despite not speaking each other's language: speak English.

I said to him: "Are you seriously surfing the internet to learn English, you little shit, and not to find online romance?"

He replied: "I can't understand."

He said to me: "Tonight's moon is truly beautiful. I wish Momo-chan could see it."

I replied: "Speak Chinese, please, or fuck English."

Later, during my graduation trip, I went to Japan to visit my English buddy. We argued for fifteen minutes about whether "miss" meant longing for someone or failing to catch something. The seniors around him looked rather strange, apparently thinking we were communicating in some new international language.

After two days of sightseeing in Tokyo, I planned to return to China and fill out my university application. My English buddy asked when I would have time to visit again.

I said, "Right now."

He was stunned for a moment, then suddenly burst out laughing. He said he understood that one: I was saying, "Like you."

We stared at each other for three seconds. When he finally got it, his face turned bright red.

I thought: So people really don't get any smarter.

Reader advisory:

1. A short story, complete at a few tens of thousands of words, about online romance told from both perspectives. Though it involves multiple languages, all the jokes are rooted in Chinese internet culture.

2. High school life without a central plot. Character interpretations are entirely up to your imagination. Beware of OOC.

Theme: No matter what, high school students need to study hard.