Don't Try to Game Your Matchmaking Consultant

[Cold, withdrawn, sharp-tongued but dedicated bottom x romantically clueless, tongue-tied but devoted top]

An Xun is a professional matchmaking analyst.

Thanks to his first-rate professionalism and excellent customer service, he has been the company's top employee for years running.

No one knows that Master An, who talks so confidently with clients every day, is actually a bona fide lifelong single.

He neither believes in the purity of love nor tolerates anyone invading his private space.

Recently, An Xun took on a strange client seeking relationship advice.

According to the client's description, the person he was pursuing was impossible to win over and had a vicious tongue. Every day, he was agonizing over how to make them smile more.

After learning the details, An Xun came up with several customized plans for him.

But strangely, no matter which plan they tried, a few days later the client would report that it had failed.

Recently, An Xun also met a strange person.

Ever since they shared a table at a bar, he seemed to keep running into this person everywhere.

Every time, the person would make some strange commotion and then add, "What a coincidence. We meet again."

An Xun: ...Does he think I'm an idiot?

And why do these antics seem so familiar?

When he could take no more, and the client once again sent him a crying-face sticker to signal that the plan had failed, An Xun mercilessly exposed the client's secret identity: [Sir, messing with people isn't fun. Please stop wasting your time on me. I'll refund your consultation fee in full. Let's end this here.]

The other person seemed to want to make excuses.

An Xun's patience had run out. He pulled up the self-introduction the client had provided and criticized it line by line, as if determined to rip the human disguise off a White Bone Demon and expose its filthy, sinister nature.

[Occupation: runs his own business. Meaning his income is unstable and he could go bankrupt at any moment.]

[His parents run a factory back in their hometown, and own two homes and a car. Meaning he still can't afford to buy a home here, which shows his business isn't doing very well.]

[He has a younger brother in middle school. Meaning his parents already know about his sexual orientation and have given up on him. If his business fails in the future, he won't be able to count on much help from them.]

[In short, your circumstances look impressive on the surface, but every detail is a huge red flag. So what makes you think I'd get together with you?]

An Xun thought he'd been harsh enough that once the client saw his cold, mercenary true colors, he would back off. Who knew that the next evening, the other person would send him a laboriously typed message: [Because I sincerely like you.]

P.S.:

The top isn't as awful as the bottom makes him out to be. He's actually quite impressive. The bottom deliberately interprets everything in his profile in the worst possible light, hoping to make the top's impression of him hit rock bottom and thereby drive him away.

Theme: Falling in love.