No Kissing or Sucking on the Strongest!

Sequel 1: The Technique Is Actually a Lewd Meme. Blurb at the very end.

Sequel 2: The Jujutsu World? What a Joke.

My name is Hasuno Chizuru, and I'm a System. After I was thrown into human society, I started drawing that kind of manga: D

Maybe because my drawings were too lewd, the super-cute cat who meows whenever someone pets it at home kicked me straight into the jujutsu world.

Good news: It seems I've been bound to a fellow System.

Bad news: My fellow System seems to have kidnapped 295, and even wants me to win him over.

Even worse news: My fellow System claims to know 5t5 inside and out, and says winning him over is a guaranteed victory. I suspect the System is Geto in disguise.

When I followed his instructions and gave DK5 a love letter, the arrogant white-haired guy signed his own name on it and burst out laughing. "Hahahaha! I'm so handsome, and I'm the strongest. Of course you worship me, Chizuru!"

When I followed his instructions and asked DK5 to spend some time alone with me, the arrogant white-haired guy handed me a mission order from the higher-ups. "Since you insist, Chizuru, I guess we can give today's assistant supervisor the day off~"

I was furious. Staring at my ability to draw lewd tags, I decided to use force.

I'd slap a "Delicate and Easily Overpowered" tag on him (▼皿▼#)

Who knew my System wouldn't stand for it, and would come clean to me? He said:

[Chizuru, I'm also Satoru~ Win me over instead. Forget about him!]

Me: ?

Aren't you Geto?

Just as the Gojo System was pulling me into a Domain to prove who I was, DK Satoru barged in.

The boy's silver hair fluttered in the breeze, bold and carefree. His ears were red as he glared at his eleven-years-older self. "What the heck? You old man, you don't even have a body anymore, and you still want to get your hands on Chizuru? Of course Chizuru likes me best~"

His voice was clingy as he ordered me, rainbow lights shimmering in his azure eyes. "As my girlfriend, Chizuru, hurry up and come kiss me!"

"You can't do that." The mature man's voice was low. "I found Chizuru first. I'll kill you right now!"

They both grabbed my wrists at once. Their faces flushed pink at the same time, and identical azure eyes filled with sparkling tears and the same suppressed desire. Their stifled whimpers left me dumbfounded.

Me: ...T-two... two of them? ∑(OvO!!)

Mini-scene 1:

While teasing the honored one, Hasuno accidentally triggered a CG keyword.

The two men, chatting moments earlier, were suddenly pulled toward the wall by a strange force.

Gojo activated his Domain in an instant. As their eyes met, they saw identical confusion and shock in each other's.

Hasuno Chizuru, pinned to the wall so hard that three ribs broke: ...Hey, you! Why are you blushing? And what's with closing your eyes and kissing me?! ...Nmd, my body's about to shut down, aaaaaah!!

Everyone passing by poked their heads around the wall one after another. Were they... about to do that?! Chizuru really does love Satoru.

Shoko: Hey! She seems to be coughing up blood... She's about to die. Can none of you see that?

Mini-scene 2:

On Inumaki's very first day at Jujutsu High, he heard his teacher's wife, Chizuru, sigh, "With a technique like yours, if I had it, tsk tsk tsk, I can't even imagine how strong I'd be..."

Innocent Inumaki had no idea what she meant.

It wasn't until he saw his teacher's wife fight, slapping all sorts of shameless, lewd tags onto her opponents, that Inumaki felt as though a whole new world had opened up to him.

He quietly replaced overly violent phrases like "Drop dead!" and "Explode!" with short lines that caused pain and social humiliation.

Including, but not limited to, "Take your pants off," "Get diarrhea," and "Do the burning dance"...

From then on, Inumaki became famous overnight, the nightmare of a new generation of jujutsu sorcerers.

At first, the sorcerers said, "Hahahaha, what's a cursed speech user? Just stick to support."

Later: "Enough already! Dying of diarrhea is humiliating enough, you don't have to rub it in! Your fighting style is so dirty..."

#Kittens are born to be kissed to death by their mama

#Limitless is nothing next to limitless shamelessness

#You keep flirting but can't read each other's signals. Enough already!

#295 personally teaches me how to win over 175

#You both hate that the other is as dense as a plank

Reader's Guide:

(1) Satoru is the male lead. There are lots of personal interpretations, so the timeline may get a little muddled (important). The default is that everyone survives, and the original plot will be heavily altered. Anyway, my Satoru was reborn QAQ

(2) The heroine used to be a System, so she'll do a lot of baffling things. She's incredibly bold, a severe cat addict, and has a pretty unusual train of thought. She's the chaotic good type, and only does what she believes is right.

(3) The main story is told in third person. OOC warning, see above. If it's not your thing, don't force yourself to read it or go out of your way to tell me. Maybe we'll meet again somewhere down the road TAT

(4) Here's a brain deposit box.

Blurb written April 3, 2024.

The Technique Is Actually a Lewd Meme: Blurb.

My name is Fujitani Chihori, and I'm a jujutsu sorcerer. Recently, I awakened a strange technique.

↓↓↓

Technique: Roll a previously used meme to assist in battle.

I thought back on the memes I'd used, and my vision went dark.

In real life, I'm reserved and socially anxious. Online, behind my secret identity, I'm wild and uninhibited, and the memes I use are so outrageous it's appalling.

It didn't take a genius to realize that my gacha pool was full of junk, so there was no way I'd roll anything good. I hid this ability and went about my life as the weakest student at the technical college.

Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. One day, on my way home, I stumbled upon the Zenin clan's Heavenly Restriction killer at the scene of a murder.

He spotted me. Judging by his expression, he was planning to kill me too, so I had no choice but to use my technique.

The meme I rolled was [Is your big brother there? Let me see your "beep".jpg]

While I nervously braced myself for a fight, the Heavenly Restriction killer, who had been gripping his knife and looking murderous, rushed over and took off his pants...

Me: ...No wonder he can live off rich women. He's clearly got what it takes _(:з"∠)_

Him: ?!

Anyway, I survived, and discovered how useful my technique could be >U<

When fighting the Six Eyes user, who'd been at odds with me since childhood, I couldn't beat Limitless, so I rolled memes.

I was lucky enough to get [Meh, not lewd enough.jpg]

The Six Eyes user I was fighting somehow started... ("/ω\") Eek~

After enjoying the view, I couldn't help commenting, "You don't look it, but you've really got a lot to show!"

His face flushed bright red. "Chihori, do you like looking that much? I'll only show you, okay~"

Me: ?

During a curse-clearing mission organized by the higher-ups, I got beaten to a pulp by that bastard because I couldn't fight back. I rolled a meme through my tears: [Go check out your lewd website.jpg]

The Special Grade curse that had been trying to kill me immediately stopped hitting me, turned around, and went into an internet cafe!

That opened the door to a whole new world...

I felt ashamed and could hardly raise my head. It wasn't fair to win in front of everyone.

But the jujutsu world's higher-ups unanimously approved of my ability.

They ranked me as a Special Grade sorcerer and doubled my salary <("罒▽罒")>

Until...

I couldn't take the mountain of missions or my shitty, exploitative boss anymore. When my weird-bangs classmate defected, I went with him. "Take me with you! I want to turn this world upside down too OvO!"

My weird-bangs classmate was deeply moved. "Chihori... You really are just like me. People like us belong together forever."

Me: ?

The higher-ups flew into a rage and sent the Six Eyes user, who was at odds with me, to capture us.

When he caught up with us, he didn't hit me. Instead, he went past me and beat the tar out of his best friend, my weird-bangs classmate.

He even said something about how it was one thing for him to act recklessly himself, but how could he drag Chihori into it too?

He was acting like a lunatic, speaking to me in a clingy, whiny voice, full of grievance. "Chihori, you're so heartless~ You just left me and Shoko behind like that."

Under his "unfathomable" stare, I used my technique again to roll a meme, hoping not to get beaten into a swollen-faced mess like Geto.

Who knew I'd roll [Big brother's nest.jpg] :D

Looking at the two men approaching, I...

Excuse me?

God who governs techniques, why does this skill come with friendly fire?

Faced with a scene like this, all I can say is...

Two is nothing!

Just kidding, I ran away

Theme: Always have the courage to face difficulties head-on.