How Many Times Has It Been? Take a Pill

Bai Shu was a happy, promiscuous bottom. While he was alive, he seized every chance to enjoy himself and had more fun than anyone.

After death, karma caught up with him, and he transmigrated into the pathetic bottom of an angst novel.

Worse, it was a world formed by the fusion of three angst novels, and he had to deal with three scummy tops at once.

Bai Shu: This is bad! Very, very bad.

But after meeting the scummy tops...

Bai Shu:

This is like Bulbasaur munching on Bugles before walking into the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. This is so damn wonderful!

Sure, they’re scummy tops, but...

Those looks, those voices, that vibe!

Those abs, those chests, that skin!

That size, that stamina, that technique!

And most importantly, all of it comes free. I get to sleep with them for nothing?!!!

Bai Shu: (presses his hands together)

Thank you, thank you, fate, thank you, love...

Scummy Top A is a CEO who treats him as a stand-in for his white moonlight and makes him imitate the white moonlight in bed.

Bai Shu:

Did I get it right...? Okay, you’re welcome. Don’t cry. So can you put on your maid outfit now?

Scummy Top B is a pervert who wants to keep him locked up.

Bai Shu:

No problem. I’m fine with being chained to the bed, so why don’t you put on the collar I picked out first?

Scummy Top C is a gold-digging freeloader who covets his family’s fortune.

Bai Shu:

If you want to make money, then work for it. We’ve only done it a few times. Can’t keep up? Take a pill.

The scummy tops:

Where the hell did this guy learn all this stuff?! (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻

·

Seven days a week: the CEO on Monday and Wednesday, the lovesick yandere on Tuesday and Thursday, the gold-digger on Friday and Saturday, and a random draw on Sunday.

Bai Shu enjoys a life of lavish feasts every day in the angst-novel world.

Until one day, fate brings the scummy tops face-to-face.

The three corner Bai Shu against a wall:

Just how many good older brothers do you have???

Bai Shu:

Um, would you believe me if I said we’re just friends...?

Free really does mean unreliable. With the scummy tops on the verge of fighting, Bai Shu rushes home to pack and make his escape.

But before he can get out, his own assistant blocks him and forces him back inside.

The usually well-behaved young assistant suddenly changes, shoving him into the room and pinning him against the wall. His eyes are bloodshot behind his glasses as he whispers in Bai Shu’s ear:

See? None of them are any good. I’m the only one who treats you well...

Bai Shu: W-wait, aren’t you straight?!

A short, unhinged story.

The real love interest is a younger puppy who thinks he’s straight. Every day, he acts aloof while helping the protagonist juggle the scummy tops, covering for him and cleaning up his messes, until he gets so jealous he loses his mind. =w=

The protagonist really is promiscuous, with zero regard for chastity. Purity-minded readers, stay away, though I doubt you made it this far...

Theme: Face life with optimism