The Heavenly Master Sells Scallion Pancakes Outside My Office

A kind-hearted civilian exorcist gong and a luckless, do-nothing ne'er-do-well who has been reincarnated countless times.

Meng Xu has been annoyed with the guy selling jianbing downstairs for a long time.

Sure, he's a parasite who lives off his ancestors' wealth, doing nothing all day. But the company he started just for fun is at least pretty decent. This impressive office building, this spotless plaza so smooth a cat could slip on it, and yet there's a shabby three-wheeled cart parked out front?

And the guy driving it even likes wearing old-man undershirts.

Sure, he's unbelievably handsome. Sure, he's broad-shouldered, slim-waisted, and long-legged. Sure, his strong arms look like they could punch a cow to death. But!

Dressing like that is seriously getting in the way of my work!

After forcing himself to look away from the man for the ninety-ninth time, Meng Xu finally leaves the CEO's office with a blank expression and goes downstairs to buy a jianbing.

The guy with the three-wheeler: You got it! That's five yuan! Scan to pay!

Meng Xu: Hmph, what a clumsy trick to get me to add you as a friend!

(Scans without hesitation) (Sends friend request)

Meng Xu: I'll come by and support your business often from now on.

The guy with the three-wheeler: Thank you, thank you! You're so kind. (Though I don't understand why he wants to add me as a friend.)

Meng Xu eats jianbing for a month. The guy with the three-wheeler is a genuine, hardworking sort who shows up without fail, rain or shine. More importantly, the terrible luck that has plagued Meng Xu for years disappears, too.

That's right. Meng Xu has been followed by bad luck since birth, from tripping over dog poop while walking a dog to single-handedly running seven or eight of his family's companies into the ground.

Meng Xu's father: Son, if this really isn't working out, why not stop starting businesses and just stay home living off your family?

Meng Xu (eyes glistening with tears) (a hundred thousand times unwilling) (but looking at his disastrous business record) (nods through his tears)

Everything starts changing strangely after he meets the guy with the three-wheeler.

Meng Xu actually! Makes his first fortune!

Meng Xu: Well, looks like I should eat more jianbing.

Unfortunately, when he visits the man's jianbing stand for the thirtieth time, the other man says he's going back to his hometown to run a business.

Meng Xu: Where are you going? Will you still love me when you come back?

Zhu Ye: Huh?

Scene break

Zhu Ye used to be the strongest fighter in the Celestial Master Alliance. Overwork made him ill, forcing him into early retirement. He passes the time selling jianbing.

Then one day, his former subordinate Jiang Xiaohai comes to ask him to come out of retirement and help with a difficult case.

Jiang Xiaohai: This evil spirit is especially cunning. Boss, you've got to help me! This is my only chance at a promotion!

Zhu Ye: Is it that bad?

Jiang Xiaohai (nodding furiously)

Warmhearted Zhu Ye decides to investigate.

So he drives his three-wheeler to the supposedly murderous company that swallows people whole.

Just as he thinks his disguise is flawless, someone appears, followed by a long line of ghosts, mouths open and waiting for food.

Zhu Ye: How awful. You're so young, so how did you get surrounded by a bunch of hungry ghosts?

Full of sympathy, he brings the CEO jianbing every day, and feeds the little ghosts too, so they can rest easy and move on to reincarnation.

A month later, Jiang Xiaohai tells him the information was wrong and he needs to stake out a different location.

Zhu Ye: ...

Jiang Xiaohai: It really is too cunning! (Drops to his knees) Brother! If you get this done, you're my dad!

Zhu Ye: ...Son, try to be a little more careful.

(Packs up to leave)

A certain CEO: Where are you going? Will you still love me when you come back?

Zhu Ye: Huh? I'm going back to take care of something. (What is he talking about, love?)

Meng Xu: What are you taking care of? Can you come back in three days?

Zhu Ye: ...My son is about to die, so I'm going back to keep him alive. (To clean up Jiang Xiaohai's mess.)

Meng Xu: ...How much money do you need?

Zhu Ye: It's not about money. I'm off.

(Rides away on the three-wheeler)

Meng Xu: Is there anything in this world that money can't solve? Assistant Liu, find out what's going on.

Assistant Liu, waking up in a panic in the middle of the night: Is the boss acting up again?

Theme: Life is bitter enough already. Have a little sugar