I Am Not That Kind of Foolish Emperor!

During the reign of Chen Houzhu, the emperor was debauched and tyrannical. Treacherous ministers plagued the court, foreign enemies threatened from beyond the borders, and the people suffered.

General Pei Zhao turned against the throne and forced his way into the palace. His silver spears and iron cavalry drenched the court in blood, leaving even princes and nobles too afraid to disobey him. He campaigned north and south, drove out foreign enemies and pacified the realm, eventually becoming a legendary warlord.

The History of Chen condemned him: "A traitor who deceived his sovereign and defied his superiors."

"What nonsense!"

Pei Zhao's number-one fan, Jiang Yan, angrily slammed down his book. "The northern barbarians are practically right at our doorstep, and the emperor does nothing to govern or repel them. Instead, he goes against all reason and persecutes loyal officials. A tyrant like that deserves to be betrayed! What else are we supposed to do, leave him around for the New Year?"

After he finished speaking, the room fell deathly silent.

He looked up. Below the steps of the imperial dais, the assembled officials gazed at him in trepidation. "Your Majesty, what... what did you just say?"

Jiang Yan: "..."

He, Jiang Yan, a fine young man of the new century who upheld the Five Virtues and Four Beauties, had accidentally transmigrated into the body of Chen Houzhu, Jiang Mingyun: the ruler who would ruin the entire Chen dynasty and ultimately be cut down by General Pei Zhao.

And the worst part was...

"What? I just had the general tortured?"

The chief eunuch smiled ingratiatingly. "As you ordered, Your Majesty. Sixty strokes, not a single one missed."

Jiang Yan's vision went black.

"Your Majesty, are you all right?"

Just shut up. His future was already as good as over.

*

Pei Zhao had spent his life amid blades and battle, killing without hesitation. When he opened his eyes after death, he found himself back in the imperial prison of the Chen dynasty, the very dynasty he had personally destroyed.

He had just endured a beating, his body covered in wounds, blood slowly dripping from his chin.

He curled his lips soundlessly.

A traitor? It seemed he would have to become one a second time.

But in the very next moment, he saw someone who should never have been there.

"I came too late..."

The young emperor wiped the grime from his face with his sleeve, flustered. "General, please don't be angry with me, all right?"

*

Heaven had finally opened its eyes. The emperor had changed.

Seeing the familiar yellow robes at court for the first time in ages, the officials were moved to tears of relief.

But Your Majesty, are you sure you are paying attention to the right person?

"The Nanyu tribute, Jade Beauty Balm, a wondrous remedy for wounds that is almost impossible to find? Give a jar to the general."

"Armor crafted at the cost of ten thousand gold, impervious to blades and spears? Send it to the general."

"The general has protected the nation. What's wrong with granting him the Nine Bestowments?"

The officials finally understood: His Majesty had turned over a new leaf overnight because he had fallen for the general!

Jiang Yan panicked and protested three times in a row: "I didn't, I haven't, don't make things up! The general and I are perfectly innocent... Minister, say something!"

Pei Zhao smiled faintly. "Your Majesty and I are of one mind, as sovereign and subject."

Bonus Scene

The general returned in triumph from his northern campaign. The officials celebrated through the night, but the emperor and the general were nowhere to be seen.

Inside the bedchamber, Jiang Yan was dizzy with drink and collapsed onto the imperial bed. Before him stood a man in a green robe and jade belt: the general, out of his armor.

The candlelight flickered in the lush glow of the lamps.

"Your Majesty, why go to such trouble to win me over?" Pei Zhao whispered in his ear. "The only thing I want is you..."

Jiang Yan jolted awake and stammered, "No... I didn't mean it like that. I'm not that kind of tyrant!"

"Your Majesty is certainly no tyrant." The general smiled warmly as he edged closer.

"But I, your subject, am a traitor who wants to deceive my sovereign and defy my superior."

Theme: Repay the sovereign's favor at the Golden Terrace, and carry a jade dragon blade to die for him