I'm Just Some Hack Writer!

Xiao Ye's dream is to become a great novelist.

The road to writing is incredibly difficult. After repeatedly hitting a wall, he starts studying formulas and chasing trends, even putting himself in the thick of things for research.

Cultivation novels are all the rage, so Xiao Ye joins a sect to experience the life of a cultivator firsthand.

He trains day and night, and accidentally reaches the pinnacle of swordsmanship, becoming a Sword Immortal.

But Xiao Ye is just a hack writer. He resolutely leaves his sect, and after coming down the mountain, draws on his personal experience to write The Sword Immortal's Memoirs with great enthusiasm.

The novel comes out and is met with ridicule:

"I've heard of the metal, wood, water, fire, and earth spiritual roots, but what in the world is a Primal Chaos Root?"

"He reaches enlightenment and forms a core overnight? What a joke. Without solid basics like swinging your sword twenty thousand times a day, how can you call yourself a sword cultivator?"

"A new rare sword every day, never the same one twice? Hilarious! Don't sword cultivators treat their swords like wives? Does your wife change every day?"

Xiao Ye puts on a secret identity and tries to explain: "The question of changing swords varies from person to person. It depends on each sword cultivator's habits..."

"Give me a break. I've been reading for ten years." A reader rolls his eyes. "Do you know more about sword cultivators than I do?"

Xiao Ye: ...

The Sword Immortal's Memoirs takes first place in the "Most Laughable" category of that year's Golden Broom Awards!

Xiao Ye takes the painful lesson to heart and switches to melodrama.

After years of studying by lamplight, he passes the highest imperial exam and becomes a top scholar. He only wants to get into court, build good relationships with his colleagues, and hear all the scandalous stories of the great families and the palace gossip.

He rises all the way to chancellor, wielding power throughout the court. After pouring his heart and soul into it, he finally completes his masterpiece: I Can Hear Everyone's Inner Thoughts in the Imperial Palace.

Readers pick it apart with disdain:

"Another gossip story. Can't you come up with anything new?"

"It's 1069 already. When is this inner-monologue trend going to blow over?"

"If the author has nothing better to do, they should get up and sweep the floor."

Xiao Ye refuses to accept it. "What if everything in the book is true?"

The readers reply: "LOL, are you the author's little lapdog or something?"

"A kind word can warm you through three winters..."

"That doesn't even fit. Get lost."

I Can Hear Everyone's Inner Thoughts in the Imperial Palace takes first place in that year's Golden Broom Awards for "Most Cliched"!

With tears in his eyes, Xiao Ye looks at the remaining trendy topics and resolutely decides to sacrifice himself for his writing career:

A trend-chasing, suggestive work: After Cross-Dressing and XXX with a Big Shot, I Ran Away Pregnant

Reader: "You can't even write the suggestive stuff properly, and the romance is a complete mess."

A giving-up-on-life work: Turns Out I'm Still Better Off as a Villain

Reader: "Starts strong, goes downhill, and ends terribly. I dropped it halfway through!"

A sweet romance genre switch: Falling in Love with the World-Destroying Dao Ancestor While Saving the World

Reader: "A self-insert fantasy for a delusional fangirl. The Dao Ancestor is so out of character he might as well be at the author's grandma's house. Aren't you afraid he'll crawl out of his grave at night and take your life?"

Xiao Ye (rubbing his forehead with a bitter smile): After decades of writing, I came back and I'm still a nobody.

Many years later, a sword cultivator descends the mountain to travel the world and casually picks up a novel no one wants from a roadside bookstall.

After reading it over and over, word by word, he suddenly sits down on the ground and regulates his breathing. Before long, his aura surges, and his cultivation rises several levels!

"A divine masterpiece..." he says through trembling tears. "How could such a treasure be left on the street?"

The onlookers exchange bewildered looks. "Daoist, are you saying everything in the book is true?"

"Absolutely. Every word is sound advice!"

The crowd falls silent for a long time, then looks at the author's name, which has spent years at the top of the Golden Broom rankings.

Gasp... What other books did that obscure little writer called "Su Ge" write?

PS: No offense intended, it's all for fun. Any resemblance is purely coincidental.

Theme: Next time, I'll definitely make it!