A new listing appeared on a roommate-matching platform.
Three bedrooms, one living room, one kitchen, two bathrooms. Pleasant surroundings, cheap rent, and a south-facing master bedroom with plenty of sunlight.
The roommate has a superpower: invisibility. You can pretend they don't exist.
Yu Luan happily moved in and lived peacefully with them for several years.
Until one day, a coworker came over and told him the place was haunted.
"A superpower? Is that a fucking euphemism for a ghost?"
"Your roommate might be invisible, but I'm pretty sure a Taoist priest could make them show themselves!"
Yu Luan has a little secret.
Every night, once he falls asleep, he turns into an object in an infinite world.
Sometimes he's a fussy greatsword: Thanks for asking. I'm squeamish about blood, so I can't cut anyone at all. My blade's shaking like a wavy line.
Sometimes he's an alarm clock: I'm fucking bad at counting seconds, too! I'll tell you what time it is, take it or leave it.
One night, he falls asleep and turns into a fridge in a haunted house. To stop people from putting random things inside him, he writes a sticky note and slaps it on his face in advance:
Please don't put anything in my mouth except three dishes and a soup, thanks!
Then he sees his roommate standing in front of him, holding a human head.
Without changing expression, the roommate peels off the note, opens the fridge, and stuffs his belly full of severed limbs.
The next morning, Yu Luan wakes up hugging the toilet, vomiting until the world spins.
His roommate suddenly drifts over, gives him a glance, and says, "You got pregnant after sleeping together just once?"
Theme: Be careful when sharing a rental
