My Superpower Is Being 100% Certain to Fake My Death

[Screenshot taken on October 26]

As someone with terrible luck, everything I do gets misunderstood. I can get dragged into the station and interrogated just for standing in line. Even passing dogs kick me.

My bastard coworker, the bandage-wearing freak, mocks me nonstop, calling me a really good person.

After I awakened my special ability, I casually used it on a random passerby.

A few days later, that person took a bullet for me. Trembling, he longed to touch my hand, his face full of sorrow as he said, "My rose... my beloved. Don't grieve for me. Even if I die, I'll watch over you from heaven."

Me: "?"

Hey, stranger, do we know each other?

After saying that, the guy grinned and dropped dead.

I still had no idea what my ability did, so I randomly used it on a few more lucky passersby and kind coworkers.

As a result, I came away from every mission without a scratch, while some kind passerby or unlucky coworker always took a hit for me.

My coworkers were dumbfounded by this bizarre spectacle.

Before long, rumors spread around the company that I was not only stringing people along, but had a whole crowd ready to die for me.

My image became even more mysterious.

I had somehow become a scumbag playboy and was utterly confused: "???"

Keep this up and I'll quit!

The Port Mafia next door looks pretty good.

Everyone in the Port Mafia: Don't come over here!

Maybe I should go on exchange to the Star Plasma Vessel Cult across the street?

The cult leader: Damn. (A kind of plant.)

Maybe I should join that group of rats who look so obviously evil.

The Rats in the House of the Dead: ... (In that moment, they really wanted to turn to the side of light.)

This ability is so useful. I can pick any job I want.

#My special ability guarantees a fake death##Walking Grim Reaper##A genuine, unwilling harem magnet##They really do get so lovesick they'd die for me#

Reader's Guide:

1. Third-person narration. An OOC, silly harem-magnet story! A crossover with Jujutsu Kaisen, Bungo Stray Dogs, Detective Conan, and more!

2. A fake death means that someone "dies" and then makes an escape. They might still come back. Schrodinger's death (?!)

3. At the moment of their fake death, the protagonist's special ability instantly makes people like them 100%.

4. A bunch of people are going to get tormented. Who'll be lucky enough to make the fake-death list? The cult leader, Geto, definitely will.

Geto: ...Let me say thank you.

Theme: Don't abase yourself for love. Let your body know who the real owner is.