Nobody Told Me Writing Fanfiction Could Get Me Wanted [Genshin Impact]

After Qiu Heng accidentally winds up in Teyvat,

he discovers that he's neither cannon fodder nor an important character in the main story.

But just as he's gotten comfortable lying flat, Tartaglia summons Osial.

Qiu Heng is quick-witted enough to dodge the disaster without a scratch.

But his house and treasure

are swept away by the huge waves.

With no other choice,

Qiu Heng goes back to his old trade.

He starts furiously writing fanfiction in Teyvat.

As for the protagonist of his first book,

he chooses you.

Tartaglia.

*

"Tartaglia was done this way and that by Zhongli, then that way and this way, and afterward collapsed bonelessly into Zhongli's arms..."

Tartaglia's fingers slowly tighten around The Harbinger's Adored Wife: Pampered Night After Night, crumpling it into a ball.

"This guy named Barbatos had better not let me catch him!" Tartaglia grits his teeth.

Beside him, Qiu Heng laughs awkwardly. "Haha, exactly. How could anyone write something like that? It's just too much."

*

"Kaeya wept and shook his head at Diluc, saying he couldn't eat another bite..."

Kaeya flips through The Winery Master's Sweet Little Wife with a beaming smile.

"I'd love to meet this Eulisun. I wonder what kind of relationship he has with that Grand Sage in Sumeru."

"Maybe, just maybe, they're twins with different parents," Qiu Heng replies cautiously.

"Is that so?" Kaeya strokes his sword. "That would be just perfect."

*

"Neuvillette's eyes were wet as he looked at Wriothesley. 'They're already swollen. You should know when to stop.'"

Wriothesley casually flips through The Cold Judge's Nightly Indulgence.

"It's well written, but Neuvillette won't be happy if he sees it."

Qiu Heng's sales pitch kicks in, and he immediately pulls out a copy of The Tyrannical Judge's Runaway Little Wife and hands it to Wriothesley.

"Then show the Chief Justice this one."

Wriothesley closes the book after only three pages.

"The authors of these two books are different, but their narrative styles are very similar. I'd like to invite the author to Fortress of Meropide. Qiu Heng, do you have any idea who it might be?"

Qiu Heng: ...

I'd die before I let him find out I wrote these!

Qiu Heng makes a fortune by drawing on whatever's around him,

while desperately keeping his secret identity hidden.

You've got to be kidding!

Even if Teyvat explodes!

My secret identity must not be exposed!!

A chaotic grab bag of crack ships: any pairing that comes to mind is fair game.

You'll see ships you can imagine, and ones you can't.

Including but not limited to Tartaglia/Zhongli, Zhongli/Tartaglia, Alhaitham/Kaeya, Wriothesley/Neuvillette, Neuvillette/Wriothesley, and plenty more.

So the stories within the story make up a fair amount of the novel.

Each of the protagonist's secret identities writes fanfiction for only one pairing, so he has a lot of secret identities.

Screenshots have been uploaded as proof.

Theme: Stay cheerful and optimistic, and keep moving forward.