Who Cares If I'm a Has-Been? My Assistant Will Handle It

I'm an assistant, moving from one has-been in show business to another, working diligently to solve all their problems. The has-beens were shocked because I could do anything: A talented singer was being pushed around by industry veterans, so one phone call from me brought resources down from the heavens. A washed-up actor was breaking down after being viciously attacked by haters, so I stormed through a swarm of paparazzi and took him away for a long drive to clear his head. In the end, the has-beens all made it big. At award ceremonies, they tearfully asked me, "Bro, you've been so good to me. But why won't you stay, no matter how much I ask? Why do you have to leave before I make it?" I thought coldly, Obviously, because you're no longer useful to me! I'm rich, charming, and debonair. Still, even someone as perfect as me has one tiny regret. I'm tone-deaf and have zero acting ability, but I want to become the greatest idol ever! So I'm going to stay close to promising talents and shamelessly steal their genius skills. "Bro, you have to make a cameo in my movie..." "A-Li, I wrote my new song to thank you. Would you like to hear it?" No! Go away! I don't need it! I've mastered everything and come back full of confidence! Just watch. I'm going to become the next generation's top-tier star Theme: Life should be spent striving for your dreams