You Can't Refuse to Kiss a Socially Anxious Zombie!

[Third-person narration]

The apocalypse broke out. When I woke up, I had become a zombie.

The good news: I still have my human consciousness.

The bad news: My fellow zombies are drooling over my flesh. QAQ

After careful analysis, I decided to head for the human safe zone and seek shelter.

But I used to hold the research institute's record for being the most antisocial person there, and asking for help seemed to require talking...

To keep from cringing so hard my toes would curl all the way to the galaxy, I, a genius beyond compare, decided to play an innocent, adorable, malnourished human mute. That way, I wouldn't have to talk to anyone ever again!

Me: ~(￣▽￣~)

After enduring countless hardships, I finally...

made it to the human safe zone!

With tears in my eyes, I spread my arms, ready to welcome a bright new tomorrow.

But the safe zone's most notorious human major general stood in my way. He forced me to go save the world with him, and threatened that if I refused, he'd never kiss me again.

Who wants his kisses!

But if he won't kiss me, how am I supposed to sneak a drink of his blood and fill my stomach?

Zombies can starve to death too!!!

I ground my teeth and decided that if I was going down, I was taking him with me. Red-faced, I pointed at him in the middle of the biggest crowd and shouted, "He sleeps naked!"

"He's afraid of the dark!"

"He needs to hug a stuffed toy to sleep!"

"Every day, he tells the mirror he's the most handsome man in the world!"

"He likes to, mmm..."

The major general clapped a hand over my mouth and glared at me. "Aren't you supposed to be mute?!"

You're mute! Your whole family is mute!

You're going to let me starve, and then expect me, a zombie, to save the world? You're dead meat!!

Get ready to face the revenge of a vicious zombie!!!

Gong's perspective:

Once, I asked my wife to save the world with me. She got mad and told everyone all my secrets.

Thanks. I can never show my face again.

Rugged, short-tempered major general gong vs. antisocial, laid-back, hilariously ridiculous zombie shou

1v1, happy ending

Reader's guide:

1. The shou is secretly a powerful expert, though he doesn't even know it himself.

2. There are no supernatural abilities, but some people's physical strength has become incredible. They can tear zombies apart with their bare hands.

3. Sucking blood isn't the only way the shou can fill his stomach. Any bodily fluids will do.

4. The author doesn't have any personal dealbreakers, so I'm not sure what might bother readers in this story. (Scratches head.)

5. Both are virgins.

Theme: Cherish the life you have today, or you'll regret it when it's gone