[Genshin Impact] Pantalone Has Something to Say

I am Pantalone.

After being transmigrated for n years and kidnapped to Snezhnaya, I finally realized that I was Pantalone himself.

The Jester asked me what I wanted to do.

I wanted to say that if I was Pantalone, I wanted to meet the Traveler as soon as possible. Then I'd drop to my knees and cry my eyes out, reform in record time, and get into the banner immediately. After that, I'd lie around in the Serenitea Pot and do nothing but fish.

But that was something I could only think to myself. I closed my eyes and maintained a polite smile. “Naturally, I will do my best to carry out Her Majesty the Tsaritsa's will.”

The Jester was very pleased by my answer. He officially bestowed the title of “The Regrator” on me, then left me to my own devices.

And so I became the richest man in the world. But for some reason, it seemed everyone was coveting my money.

Take the Second Seat, for example. Every day, he stared at my ring, longing for the day he could take it off and then beg himself a fifty-year budget.

Then there's the last seat. He takes my moonlight out to eat every day, which is bad enough, but then he makes me foot the bill. If I refuse, his expression turns dark and he demands to know why.

Me: “I'm out of money. I gave it all to the Doctor.”

He finally snapped, eyes red. “Am I more important, or is the Second Seat?”

Me: “?” In truth, neither of you is important.

As I watched the young man storm off and slam the door, I leisurely took a sip of tea and went back to the documents in my hands.

I silently thought, that's brutal. Has he run out of women to chase? Why is he coming here to throw a tantrum at me?

So I arranged a few for him, and without hesitation, sent him the Abyss Prince who was undercover working for me, bored out of his mind and causing trouble while disguised as a woman.

And then...

I was doing just fine with the Fatui when someone suddenly shouted “Pantalone Rich!” from behind me. Startled, I turned around and saw my old roommate looking at me.

For a moment, I wondered if something was wrong with my eyes. There were somehow two Scaramouches standing in front of me...

Later, I learned that cosplay really could send you to another world. My roommate, who had cosplayed with me back then, had only just transmigrated. He had become another Scaramouche: the National Essence edition, Scaramouche 2.0.

I was utterly shaken. One day, I came to my senses to find rumors spreading that I had a secret crush on Scaramouche and was keeping him in a golden cage. Several people were also arguing in my office.

The Traveler and Tartaglia, the Doctor and the Geo Archon.

There was also a Scaramouche who had transmigrated through cosplay, along with the confused First Harbinger, the Jester, who couldn't help speaking up.

The Jester: “Are you... keeping them?”

I was still smiling. “No.”

The Jester looked even more confused. “Then why are they eating your food and using your things?”

My smile slowly fell apart. “How would I know! All I wanted at first was to play the long game and catch a big fish! Who knew they'd all fall for me over a little money!”

First-person narration.

Co-written with a friend, whose story is titled “Scaramouche, but National Essence.”

Basically, it's a hilarious love polygon between Pantalone and these men.

But there is no official CP. Pantalone's beloved is the flesh and blood of Morax. What I mean is that he only loves money. This story may be a little slow to warm up. My version of Pantalone is a scheming, out-of-character friend to women, and it might count as cosplay transmigration.

Theme: Can we just do without love? Mora is enough.