That woman made Teyvat her playground.
She wreaked havoc across the entire world.
From jumping in and out of Infinite Flow dungeons and performing “I killed myself,”
to stabbing three Harbingers in the back in five minutes, then becoming another person within half an hour and saving the day online.
By now, the victims have gone from one to a terrifyingly uncountable number.
A certain lowest-ranked Harbinger from Snezhnaya once denounced his childhood friend bitterly. He ranted for fifty minutes after a few drinks, saying his childhood friend had given him “the power of science,” only for himself to promptly die.
All that remained was a Skyfire Something he couldn't unlock, leaving him weeping every day as he gazed at it and remembered her.
Victim: “The main thing is... I can't unlock Skyfire Something.” Otherwise, one shot would take out each of those idiots.
Me: “Uh... what happened after that?” Good thing you couldn't unlock it.
“After that, I swore I'd climb to the very top, and become the strongest alongside her. But when I reached the peak of the mortal world, I saw a god looking down at me...”
“...It was her.”
“You really had it rough,” I murmured, offering a sympathetic response.
Hearing the lowest-ranked Harbinger's story, a certain consultant nearby couldn't help speaking up as well.
“Perhaps that mentor of mine once saw the sights of this world together with me... It's a shame those days didn't last.”
“Later, she died in a disaster, her body corroded by Archon Residue. By the time I arrived, she had died in the arms of my old friend... and vanished like a lamp blown out by the wind.”
I sucked in a breath. “You had it rough too.”
But as soon as I finished speaking, the young man writing nearby paused his pen. Beneath his bird-beak mask, his thin lips curved into a lovely smile.
“Oh? Is that what you think?” a certain kind and handsome adult man from Sumeru said with a laugh. “Heh heh. As for my former upperclassman... she killed quite a few versions of me.”
“That's a classic.” I clicked my tongue. “What about you?”
A certain head of the Yashiro Commission nearby shook his head. “She couldn't stomach seafood, so she didn't stay in Inazuma long...”
Oh, so he escaped her torment.
There was actually one who slipped through the net... Better make a note of that.
“...In my memories, she was merely a shadow I glimpsed beneath a cherry tree during a childhood encounter with the Night Parade of One Hundred Demons.”
“Haha, back then I thought she must be some kind of fairy... Who could have guessed that when we met again, the dream of the past would shatter? Her smile was still as lovely as a flower, but the long sword in her hand was pressed against my neck.”
Me: “...”
The stories didn't end there.
Many other kind souls had sent in their accounts, too.
A certain Three-Eyed Five-Manifestation Immortal:
“...When I was young, I received guidance from a respected mentor. Her memorial day is coming soon... I hear you know everything there is to know. Could you... help me find her lingering soul?”
A certain wandering samurai from Inazuma:
“Tch, how many people has that woman left heartbroken? I'll give you five thousand Primogems. Go kill every man she knows... no, every woman too.”
A certain little “cook” from Inazuma:
“She promised to teach me how to cook... but she... You, can you help me find her?”
A certain Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius:
“Genius Invokation TCG card commission... She ghosted me! I finally managed to get a slot and paid the deposit... but then she was ‘murdered’...!”
A certain kitsune Guuji:
“Oh, don't even get me started. She's changing secret identities all day long. Sometimes even I can't recognize her.”
A certain Lord of Wisdom and Benevolence:
“Is this where I submit my story? Remember to come home for dinner today. I made you some date palm honey cakes~”
A certain Mondstadt bard:
“Still, the wind brings the seeds of stories, but it can't bring back this old friend. Life would lose so much of its fun if I couldn't hear her interesting stories. Don't you agree?”
Me: “Huh? Quite right!”
A certain iron-boned fellow chimed in: “So you're all really having a rough time! Send me fifty! I'm a mercenary for hire, and I'll help you hunt her down and get revenge right away.”
Everyone: “...”
Everyone: “.”
Is this a guide to raising a drama queen?
No, the people of Teyvat all agree that this is a madman's experimental game.
After all, everyone in Teyvat has suffered at her hands, and this woman... is me.
Life is a play, and it all depends on your acting. The big shots are all my secret identities, and how could this show be any good if I didn't have plenty of them?
So...
“Don't pay 998, just 10086! Click to start reading now. Don't worry, this time I definitely won't get halfway through writing and suddenly collapse!”
The main story is told in first person and mostly has a silly, comedic style.
Updates whenever inspiration strikes. The more comments I get, the more diligently I'll update!
Contains OOC, bugs, nonsensical logic, typos, Lovecraftian horror, nonhumans, split personalities, gore, violence, a little Infinite Flow, some quick transmigration...
The female lead looks well-behaved, but she's actually a villainous bad woman who loves a good time and is the strongest, most popular person around. She's completely insane and will do whatever it takes to get what she wants. She never behaves like a decent person.
The setting has some crossover with My Life as the Rich Guy's Little Sister and I, the Successor to the Heavenly Principles, but a Villainous Original Monster. Not much, and you can read this without knowing those stories.
READ ONLY AFTER YOUR WORLDVIEW IS FULLY SHAPED!
READ ONLY AFTER YOUR WORLDVIEW IS FULLY SHAPED!
READ ONLY AFTER YOUR WORLDVIEW IS FULLY SHAPED!
Theme: Don't worry about it, the author was just writing for fun. This story has been abandoned.
[Genshin Impact Otome] The Years of Loving and Fighting Dottore
Genshin Impact: After Being Adopted by the Tsaritsa
[Beyond the World Essay Collection] A Love Like No Other
[Beyond the World] Racing Madly Toward the Other Shore
[Honkai: Star Rail] Life and Death Still Burn
After Raising a Nonhuman Man
[Cthulhu] My Wife Is Beyond Words
[Cthulhu] Bubbles Always Wants Me to Ascend to Immortality
[Cthulhu] Legendary Investigator, No Romance Allowed
[Honkai: Star Rail: Blade] Red
After Becoming the Rich Man's Little Sister in Genshin Impact
[Genshin Impact] Spend Enough and Kong Will Give In
Ww! The sister next door finished article: "I am the successor of Tianli, but the villain is the original devil", "After dressing up as a rich man's sister", please watch it, click to save it, please QAQ (the completed masterpiece now is my past dark history, I want to replace it!)
Greedy glutton... I immediately thought of the gluttonous star god Oberos ()
Wow! Yu Qiu's background, tsk tsk, I remember that the previous copy seemed to have something to do with Star Iron, so is Yu Qiu the star god of desire? Parrot? I'm not very familiar with the plot of Star Iron at the moment. If I'm cultivating immortals, is it the character of Immortal Boat? Swallowed God, mmm, is it Yan Nian? Chunlan? Woohoo, I forgot about the previous copywriting QAQ
Oh hoo! Okay, let's go to the Shura Field and crawl all over the ground looking for food (take a bite) (chirp, chirp) (crush) (circle around my wife's feet) (wag my tail) (greedy) (look at you with wide eyes) (chirp, chirp) (hungry for food) (pull my trouser legs with my front paws) (rua for my tail)
Hehe, I feel like Arlecino is like a tsundere cat with a strong desire for control. He whines, it's disgusting, and I want to ejaculate even more. Unfortunately, after I finish ejaculating, I will be a pauper with no underwear. QAQ
But don't be fooled! The ball is gone
Damn it! How many times have you had sex parties where I can't see you?
Emmmm, damn it, the knife hit me, sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Da Hao Yuqiu: Loving Kindnessjpg.
I really like executive officer-type articles. It's really interesting. A group of crazy people get together, and the magical chemical reaction is very interesting. (乐子人Jpg.) (Hey) (cough cough)