Gojo Always Gets in His Own Head

[Writing takes effort, so thanks for supporting the official release. CP: Gojo. Five upcoming stories, including "The Fourth Catastrophe Transmigrates Across the World," are open for follows!] Nakahara Yayoi is a student, a Mafia member, and severely socially anxious. His ability, "Talent Allocation," lets him boost skill points for game characters. He hears that the creator of Doki☆Love~Jujutsu High~ has hidden an Easter egg, and that cracking it will let him inherit the game company. Yayoi immediately decides to speedrun the romance game in half a month. In this game, you can boost attack, defense, charisma, and starting affection. Yayoi's hand slipped, and he maxed out [Attack]. . In the game, Yayoi is a glass cannon with an attack stat through the roof. His attack stat is so high that on their first meeting, he accidentally punches NPC Gojo so hard that he goes flying. He checks the affection values. Romance target [Geto]: 13. Non-romance target [Gojo]: -98. After three days of effort, Geto's affection hasn't changed one bit. As someone with social anxiety, Yayoi is exhausted. He decides to give up on the romance route and turn the dating sim into a leveling game. The affection values skyrocket instead! . Yayoi instantly kills the special-grade cursed spirit that ambushed them. Geto's affection +10. [Friendship] stage unlocked. Gojo clasps his hands to his cheeks like a girl. "You didn't have to go out of your way to save me~" Yayoi beats up the higher-ups. "Don't steal the youth of the young!" Geto's affection +15. [Close Friends] stage unlocked. Gojo loudly agrees. "Exactly! His youth is me, after all! Though there's also Geto and Shoko." While escorting the Star Plasma Vessel, Yayoi is badly injured protecting Geto. Geto's affection +30. [Romantic Tension] stage unlocked. Gojo cradles Yayoi, tears dripping onto his face. Yayoi is full of question marks. Can NPCs cry, too? . One day, Gojo suddenly asks Yayoi, "What do you think of me?" Yayoi: "What do you mean?" Gojo stammers, "I mean... could we... be more than friends...?" Full of suspicion, Yayoi checks Gojo's affection value: 100. Yayoi: "???" Non-romance targets, please don't make yourselves the main character. Thanks. * After going through countless hardships, Yayoi fails to get an HE, but successfully cracks the Easter egg and inherits the company's shares. During a news interview, Yayoi says, "Because Gojo got in the way, my first date with Geto turned into a horror story..." The reporter looks puzzled. "There aren't any characters by those names." Yayoi: "?" . When spring break ends, he starts high school and sees third-years Geto and Gojo at the school gate. Yayoi quietly walks away and calls Chuuya. "Bro, I'm not going to school anymore!" - [Reader's Guide] * HE, CP: Gojo * Also known as "Chuuya Opposes This Marriage" * Gojo isn't narcissistic. The socially anxious protagonist is a little flirtatious without realizing it. Just take it as a comedy gag. * The author notes include a forum-style mini-story called "Mafia Anonymous Forum." Feel free to check it out. ★ Content warnings: 1. There are some original setting details, which will be noted in the author's notes. 2. The protagonist isn't a saint overflowing with kindness. Don't read if that's a dealbreaker. [Upcoming Story Recommendations] ██████ ● "The Fourth Catastrophe Transmigrates Across the World" CP: Gojo . Aoi Chiya is an utterly ordinary pharmaceutical researcher at a certain liquor company. He's been blessed with maxed-out luck since childhood: he always wins refrigerators in supermarket raffles and always wins at least 100,000 yen when he buys lottery tickets. When Aoi Chiya wakes up one morning, he discovers he's dead. He binds himself to an immersive life-stealing System. Every three days, his soul possesses a game character and streams for 72 hours. If he earns a cumulative 1 billion in tips, he can be reborn. Aoi Chiya sneers. No matter. He'll go completely off the rails. * Aoi Chiya possesses a certain Mafia boss. Fifteen-year-old Double Black are cursing each other out at headquarters. The boss doesn't stop them. Instead, he throws his arms up and cheers excitedly: "Place your bets, place your bets! The Gravity User versus the Black Phantom, who will win? To make things more fun, Chuuya and Dazai, put on skirts and become magical girls!" Three days later, Mori's AI learns what he did a few days ago, and his hairline recedes by two centimeters. . Aoi Chiya possesses a certain curse user. Gojo hears that Geto went on a wild binge of cursed-spirit balls dipped in ice cream yesterday and gleefully asks what got into him. "Teacher Yaga said someone stole my body," Geto replies, trying to keep his temper. "He exorcised a hundred cursed spirits and ate ten tubs of vanilla ice cream in one night. Is something wrong with his head?" The shameless cat in sunglasses bursts out laughing. Half a month later, Gojo learns that yesterday he wore twin tails, stood atop Tokyo Tower, and shouted at a cursed spirit, "In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!" His smile vanishes. * One day, a rich viewer with the ID "Crab Cans Are Delicious" appears in the stream and sends enough gifts to claim the top spot on the leaderboard. Other users, including "Kikufuku Is the Best," "Who Picked Up My Fingers," and "Can You Die from Eating Ten Tubs of Ice Cream in a Row," keep sending huge amounts of tips. With all these big shots cheering him on, Aoi Chiya successfully comes back to life. . A week after his resurrection, Boss Dazai and Gojo show up outside Aoi Chiya's home. Aoi Chiya has already figured out the truth and takes it in stride: Wow, so you're real people. How surprising. (Deadpan.) Aoi Chiya thinks they've come to take revenge. Instead, the two of them are moved to tears, thanking him for repeatedly saving the Mafia and helping Jujutsu High grow into a powerhouse. They sincerely invite him to join their organizations. Aoi Chiya: "???" He spent his whole life doing bad things, and yet somehow he'd done something like that, too. Aoi Chiya initially plans to refuse, but Boss Dazai and Gojo both offer him an astronomical salary, changing his mind. What can he do? They're offering too much. Aoi Chiya quits the liquor company in the middle of the night: [This dump is crawling with undercover agents. There's no future here. Farewell, Gin. I won't come back to see you.] - [Reader's Guide] * A lighthearted comedy that causes trouble for the whole world. Don't read if that's a dealbreaker. ★ Thanks to his luck buff, Aoi Chiya unwittingly saves [Oda Sakunosuke, Boss Dazai, Geto, and the Flags]... and becomes a widely praised good person. * Bungo Stray Dogs includes both the IF world and the main world. * The romance isn't obvious at first, but becomes more prominent after the protagonist comes back to life. * CP: Gojo. In this version, Gojo, 28, is already the head of the Gojo family. * Content warning: There are original setting details, which will be noted in the author's notes. ● "After My White Moonlight Died, I Found Three Replacements" . Eugene Dracula, the progenitor of vampires. All humans submit to his pheromones, offering him their warm necks and fragile lives. During the Edo period, Eugene met a man named Douma. His blood was as sweet as a white pear, and Eugene remembered it for a century. After Douma died, Eugene began searching for humans with a similar scent, making them willingly become his blood servants. He knows that to tame humans, he needs a little false love and a little cunning affection. * The first replacement is a useless Zenin with no cursed energy. Eugene takes in homeless Toji, who is like a stray dog drenched in the rain. He soon falls into the trap Eugene has carefully laid. Toji offers his blood without reservation, just to linger for one more second in Eugene's cold embrace. . The second replacement is a young Six Eyes from the Gojo family. Eugene takes the form of a boy the same age as Gojo. They skip school to play games and secretly study dangerous forbidden techniques, winning Gojo's love and trust. Gojo gently kisses Eugene's lifeless, pale cheek and hooks their pinkies in a vow: no one can ever separate them except death. . The third replacement is a curse user still in high school. He always watches Eugene in silence, his gaze hiding an ardent affection that vampires can't understand. One night, Geto suddenly asks Eugene, "Master, who is Douma?" Eugene never expected Geto to break free of the pheromones' control and imprison him. Geto uses a cursed spirit's tentacles to bind Eugene's limbs. He greedily bites his neck, drawing in the scent of his pheromones. His burning lips glide over Eugene's cold skin, as if he were the hunter and Eugene his prey. * After this harrowing experience, Eugene realizes that Geto is a dangerous person he can't control. He's just about to abandon his blood servants and sneak away when he discovers that his white moonlight has come back to life. Douma barges into Eugene's home, sees his three blood servants, and exclaims, "Oh, so many people!" - [Reader's Guide] * HE, CP: Geto * Eugene loves his partners the way people love grilled chicken legs. He only likes Douma's blood, not Douma himself. (Sorry, Douma.) * Original setting details: Vampires have very low body temperatures; Eugene isn't bothered by sunlight and has a gland in his neck. His pheromones can make humans go crazy for him and smash into walls. * Low-magic world with a Bungo Stray Dogs setting. ● "After Sukuna Confessed to Me, I Ran Off with the Money" . Sugawara Mitsuharu, an actor with a villain's face, transmigrates into the world of a book after memorizing the script for The King of Curses: Origins. In this world, a movie in which he played a demon king who destroyed planets was shown as a hologram. Everyone is convinced he's overwhelmingly powerful and can destroy the world with a snap of his fingers. In reality, ordinary Mitsuharu has practically zero attack power. He's a strategist kept by the real King of Curses, who has raised him at his side. . To serve the emperor is to live with a tiger. To serve Sukuna is to live with a lunatic. For his own amusement, Sukuna throws Mitsuharu onto the summit of Mount Fuji at three in the morning. When Mitsuharu wakes up looking utterly bewildered, Sukuna claps his hands and laughs. "You goddamn..." Seeing Sukuna's chilling expression, Mitsuharu curries favor with him. "You damn, irresistible King of Curses. Why are you so charming?" . The cursed spirits revere Mitsuharu, claiming that rather than be ruled by Sukuna, they should appoint him as the new King of Curses. Mitsuharu: "Wow, you guys are pretty bold." The sorcerers curse Mitsuharu as a second demon king, but when they see his icy face, they immediately fall to their knees. Mitsuharu thinks it over. Maybe I can make use of this. * Half a year passes, and a rumor spreads like wildfire through the jujutsu world. They say Sukuna has fallen in love with Mitsuharu, can't eat or sleep, and hasn't gone to Heian-kyo to kill for fun in a month. Mitsuharu thinks: It's not love. It's probably love and hate tangled together. . A month ago, Mitsuharu found a huge stack of love letters Sukuna had written to him in Sukuna's room. The King of Curses' terrifying unrequited love gives Mitsuharu the creeps. So he takes the special-grade cursed tools Sukuna gave him, makes off with a fortune, and runs away. - [Reader's Guide] * HE, with a groveling-after-the-breakup arc. * The protagonist is dark and twisted, with a power-growth arc. He returns to the modern world at the end. * He never once gets exposed while pretending to be a great demon king. * An actor bluffs his way around with borrowed authority and tricks the seemingly innocent (?) Sukuna. Mutual redemption. ● "The Sharp-Tongued King Got Bound to a Dating System" . Akahoshi Hanami makes a pact with a heartbroken demon and gets bound to a dating System. Every month, he has to win over one target. The target must confess to him for him to complete the mission. From then on, Hanami becomes a romance scammer. Love at first sight! Passionate pursuit! Sweet nothings! The moment someone confesses to him, he dumps them without a second thought, ignores their calls and texts, and sits through dates in silence. . In the first month, Hanami, terminally ill with cancer, lies in a hospital bed with Nanami's fingers entwined with his. "Just seeing you, Mr. Nanami, makes me feel like I've recovered. My body feels so light." In the second month, undercover Hanami clings to Gin, who's been shot several times, burying his face against Gin's chest and sobbing. "Mr. Kurosawa, I think I've fallen in love with you. I'm an FBI agent, but I still fell in love with you. Do you love me?" In the third month, Hanami, a member of the Decay of the Angel, stands on a bridge and shouts at the Hunting Dogs' strongest fighter. "Suehiro, I hate that you're such a blockhead! Why can't heroes and villains date? Don't be afraid of what society thinks! If you won't date me, I'll jump into the river!" In the fourth month, Hanami, a low-ranking Mafia member, tears open his collar and says to the mad dog turned vampire, "Mr. Akutagawa, it's okay if you kill me. I just want you to survive." * Three days after the System unbinds, a white-haired man in a blindfold blocks Hanami's way on his way to school. The sorcerer smiles. "Hanami, actually, I fell in love with you at first sight." Hanami: Why are you copying my lines? The sorcerer takes his hand. "Hanami, you've dumped me four times, and you don't even remember my name." - [Reader's Guide] * High offense, low defense. Before falling in love, he's all talk. The moment someone confesses, he wants to run. * HE, split personality, CP: Gojo Theme: Self-redemption for someone with social anxiety