Your Servant Is Sickly and Cannot Serve You

[Next book: Sickly Beauty's Groveling Arc, "I Bear the Jade Dragon to Die for You"]

In the tenth year of Daze, the sickly beauty Chen Tingxian took over his father's position as chancellor. On the very night he assumed office, the entire Chen household was slaughtered by villains. He alone survived, as he was away handling state affairs.

The tragedy left him grief-stricken and gravely ill. He often suffered terrible pain in his chest and abdomen and could barely eat.

Qi Zongyu, the founding emperor of Daze, was handsome and elegant. He fell for Chen Tingxian, a peerless beauty among men, at first sight. When he heard that Chen was seriously ill, he personally tended to him day after day. When Chen was sick, he fed him medicine; when he was in pain, Qi reached beneath the covers on his sickbed and warmed his aching chest and abdomen with his hand.

Qi Zongyu loved him dearly. He accepted Chen's unwavering loyalty and candid advice, even when Chen bluntly criticized him time and again. He even let Chen speak rudely to him, saying nothing but unpleasant things in court.

Chen Tingxian loved Qi Zongyu too. He was captivated by Qi's strong, broad embrace, and on their wedding day, he gave himself to him.

One day, annoyed by Chen Tingxian's harsh words, Qi Zongyu believed a treacherous minister's slander. He came to think Chen was disloyal and disrespectful, and had defied him repeatedly in hopes of seizing the throne.

Qi Zongyu flung a letter of divorce at Chen Tingxian and demanded to know why he had plotted rebellion.

Chen did not defend himself. He smiled. "If my husband doesn't believe me, I have nothing to say."

Qi Zongyu saw him take the divorce letter with him, then smashed the precious jade belt pendant he had given Chen on their wedding day.

He wished so badly that Chen Tingxian would defend himself, even if it were only a single sentence.

*

After receiving the divorce letter, Chen Tingxian abandoned his former sincere loyalty. He joined forces with the treacherous ministers and plotted to sink his teeth into Qi Zongyu's throat, leaving him dead without a grave.

With only one step left before his rebellion could begin, Chen Tingxian found he could not go through with it. He claimed to be ill and stopped attending court. Qi Zongyu suddenly issued an order, killing all the treacherous ministers who had conspired with Chen. Then he visited the Chen residence at night and stood by Chen's sickbed.

"Your Majesty, it was all my doing. You can kill me or punish me as you please." Chen spoke coldly, his breath faint. Blood from his vomit had soaked the bedding red.

Qi Zongyu knelt down, trembling as he reached beneath the covers. Just as he had in the past, he laid his palm over Chen Tingxian's painfully aching chest and abdomen to warm it. His eyes were full of guilt. "I was wrong to accuse you that day. Look, I've killed them all."

"I am ill and unfit to serve Your Majesty. Please find someone more capable."

Chen's heart ached, but he refused to look at Qi Zongyu.

"I know you drew your blade several times, but never had the heart to drive it into my neck."

He pleaded with Chen Tingxian. "I know I was wrong. Wen'er, will you call me your husband one more time?"

[Couple]: A principled, gentle, sharp-tongued but soft-hearted sickly beauty receiving x a ruthless romantic, devoted, considerate, gentle, doting and protective gong. 1v1, older man/younger man, happy ending, ten-year age gap.

Tags: Sickly beauty, getting back together after a breakup, a little angst for fun.

Bingwen is Chen Tingxian's courtesy name, Wen'er is his childhood nickname, and Jianyu is Qi Zongyu's courtesy name.

Content warning: Long and angsty. Xianxian almost never made it back. The gong's groveling arc is extremely intense. Please avoid if that's not for you.

Coming soon: Historical BL, "I Bear the Jade Dragon to Die for You"

Blurb: There are rumors at court that Emperor Gu Lingyun is gay, and that his lover is the beautiful and powerful minister Shen Qingyu.

The rumors are true.

Shen Qingyu and Gu Lingyun grew up together. Shen was sickly for years, and when he coughed too hard, specks of bright red blood would spray from his lips.

Gu Lingyun loved Shen Qingyu and stayed by his side for ten years. The two had long since become physically intimate.

When a political coup shook the court, Gu Lingyun seized the throne with his military forces. From then on, his ambitions knew no bounds. He expanded the borders on a massive scale and even made Shen Qingyu, despite his illness, travel from battle to battle to lead the troops himself.

After a lost battle, Shen Qingyu received several letters of reprimand, all in Gu Lingyun's own hand.

Blood seeped from Shen Qingyu's lips. He coughed lightly and looked up at the endless yellow sand. Suddenly, he felt that his Gu Lingyun was no longer the same as before.

Shen Qingyu thought that Gu Lingyun seemed to love the kingdom more than he loved him.

After winning battle after battle, Gu Lingyun was delighted. Only then did he summon Shen Qingyu back, intending to promote him and grant him a noble title.

Shen had spent three years at the border. By the time he returned to the Hall of Mental Cultivation, he was so thin that he could barely support his official robes. His face was deathly pale. He coughed lightly, and blood kept welling up between his lips.

Seeing his frail lover, Gu Lingyun felt as if his heart had been torn apart. He hurried to his feet and went to embrace him.

"Your Majesty." Shen Qingyu dodged his hand, his voice cold. "I have accomplished what I set out to do. Let me go."

Gu Lingyun stared at him in disbelief. "Why do you want to leave? Don't you love me anymore?"

Shen Qingyu said nothing. He turned and left, doing everything he could to escape Gu Lingyun's pursuit and attempts to stop him.

He got his wish. From then on, a man named Shen Qingyu was gone from the vast capital.

Before leaving, Shen Qingyu also had someone deliver the letters filled with reprimands back to the Hall of Mental Cultivation, ending his relationship with Gu Lingyun once and for all.

Gu Lingyun looked at the bloodstained pages filled with insults and thought of Shen Qingyu's frail appearance. His heart ached day and night, and he searched for him everywhere like a madman.

Only then did Gu Lingyun realize how terribly he had treated Shen Qingyu.

When Gu Lingyun finally found Shen Qingyu, it was in an abandoned house outside the capital. The beauty was so ill he was barely breathing, and the floor beneath his bed was covered in the blood he had coughed up and vomited.

Cradling Shen Qingyu's limp body, Gu Lingyun wept uncontrollably and said in a trembling voice, "Qingyu, please, come back with me, won't you?"

[Please note:]

1. This is an alternate Ming-inspired setting with extensive original worldbuilding. For example, the emperor calls his spouse his wife. The setting is based on the early Ming dynasty, but please don't nitpick the history. No unsolicited writing advice.

2. Sickly character trope. The powerful minister is very ill, and gets worse later. He will never recover, but he won't die. Expect extensive depictions of the sickly beauty's illnesses and the gong caring for the shou. Please read with caution if this isn't for you.

3. Updates after publication may be daily, or I may take time off.

4. Disclaimer: The characters' values and views have nothing to do with me. No unsolicited writing advice, no review bombing, and no copying or dissecting my work.

5. I will pursue all cases of trope theft, plagiarism, or imitation.

6. The second version of the blurb was screenshotted and filed on [2023.1.14], including the names, dates, and content. Reposting or imitating it is prohibited, and I will pursue any similar works.

Finally, the comments are always open. Have fun, everyone.

Theme: May I be like the stars, and you like the moon.