When the Master Became a Farmer

What do you do when you're an exorcism master and are forced to take over a run-down farm? Reigen: Obviously, make it bigger and better! So Reigen was forced to change careers, becoming Pelican Town's newest farm owner and starting a wonderful new life in Stardew Valley. Except that, aside from farming being addictive, the things turning up on this farm were downright unbelievable. He dug up an ancient artifact called the [Prison Realm]. He found a [Book] in the library that could grant any wish. He fought monsters in the mines and got a [Scarlet-Eyed Eyeball] as a drop. He cast his fishing line and caught no fish, but instead reeled in a man covered in bandages... Huh? Wait? He says his name is Dazai Osamu?! Reigen chuckled. "If you're Dazai Osamu, then I'm Natsume Soseki." "Natsume Soseki," said the bandaged man, pointing at his calico pet cat. "Isn't he right here?" Reigen: "...You mean Mimi???" Holy crap, he'd even been planning to get Mimi neutered. -- As a pilot for Pelican Town's new industry, Reigen also started running a farm-stay business. His guests were all sorts of oddballs. Like a Russian detective Mafia guy who used a literary author's name as his alias. He kept running to the library, which was one thing, but whenever anything major happened, he used Reigen's farm as a hideout, and he had his eye on Mimi, too. Or the Black Organization, searching for an elixir of immortality. Reigen could only fob them off with a quote from a friend who happened to be passing by: "The secret to a long life is a balanced diet! A regular sleep schedule! And moderate exercise!!!" And the jujutsu sorcerers, every last one of them completely unhinged. Students, go level up and fight monsters in the mines. If you want to save your teacher, come with me to the museum. If you want to challenge the rules of Stardew Valley, stay right where you are. Reigen: "Mob, get him." Mob: "Master, I just remembered you still haven't answered me about that confession last time." Reigen: "...Huh?" Let's cut that part for now. Anyway, after casually rescuing a few chuunibyou who wanted to destroy the world and wipe out humanity, he somehow managed to put on a ridiculously impressive act in front of them-- This man is unfathomable! Terrifyingly powerful! *A few things to note* *This story began in October 2022. The blurb has been revised, but the core premise is unchanged. *This is not a conventional Stardew Valley playthrough. The author will give Master various golden fingers (mods) to mess with him, including but not limited to visual enhancement packs, tractors, and automatic slime deflection. Just have fun with it! *Mob/Reigen pairing, with the timeline set after Mob has come of age. The blurb doesn't really mention it... *I think that's all. I'll add more when I start writing. --Coming soon-- After Geto Swallows a Fanfiction-Loving Cursed Spirit The good news: Geto swallowed an incredibly powerful cursed spirit. The bad news: The spirit was born from the resentment of a fanfiction-loving woman who couldn't stand her favorite couple not getting together. The cursed spirit was so powerful that Geto had a hard time digesting it. Unfortunately, his strongest best friend was caught in the effects, and began showing symptoms of all kinds of popular fanfiction tropes. It happened during a routine checkup-- Shoko: "No abnormalities." Geto: "Same here, apart from some bloating." Gojo: "Of course I'm fine... Cough, cough, nothing wrong!" He looked up after coughing, only to find his best friend and teammate staring at him in alarm. "What are you looking at me for?" "Satoru," Geto said, pointing at the ground. "You just coughed up a few... deep red roses." * The language of deep red roses: passion, love, romance. Gojo: "So what does that mean?" "It means the cursed spirit's influence has given you Hanahaki disease." Geto asked casually, "...Satoru, are you in love with me?" "In love with you?" Gojo scoffed. "As if." Until he was buried beneath the flowers he'd coughed up himself. * The fanfiction-loving cursed spirit's influence was long-lasting and profound, and it could even take on different effects. Including, but not limited to, [Hanahaki Disease], [A Room You Can't Leave Unless You Do It], [Growing Pains], [ABO], [Sentinel and Guide], [Cake and Fork], [Ten-Centimeter Lovers], and more... Gojo: "I'm already six foot three! Is it really normal for my bones to hurt?!" Geto: "= = Don't ask me. I can't do anything about it." Theme: Experience the beauty of life and nature through hard work