[Crossover] After Splitting My Personality in Detective Conan, I Ended Up on the Bungo Stray Dogs Set

[Crossover] After Splitting My Personality in Detective Conan, I Ended Up on the Bungo Stray Dogs Set

Wen Qingshou was unlucky, extraordinarily unlucky. From birth, he suffered from an incurable terminal illness.

"Wen Qingshou, is it? Quite a literary name." The doctor couldn't hide the exhaustion in his eyes. He lowered his gaze. "I'm sorry to tell you that we're going to name the disease after you."

They both knew exactly what "it" meant.

"Mm, it really is literary." A faint shadow circled Qingshou's eyes, too. "My parents gave me the name." His voice turned wistful, as though he were speaking to himself. "My mother was surnamed Wen, and my father was surnamed Qing."

"But they died in an accident." Qingshou spoke as if it had nothing to do with him. Only the bloodshot eyes he couldn't hide revealed the turmoil within.

"My condolences..." The doctor sighed almost imperceptibly. That was why his condition had worsened. Had he... stopped wanting to live?

What a shame. This miraculous flower was about to wither.

The doctor thought of the kind couple. No wonder he hadn't seen them come to visit their son in so long. He had wanted to ask about them, but couldn't bring himself to.

He couldn't rub salt in the wound. After all, the couple had loved Qingshou so much, hadn't they? The fact that they hadn't come to see him for so long already said most of what needed to be said.

The doctor slowly took off his glasses. "Which hospital are they at?"

In the end, he chose not to say words like "funeral home," referring to it as a hospital instead.

"I've already gone to pay my respects." Qingshou spoke languidly, then casually gave him an address. "You'll have to visit them for me from now on, Doctor."

"I will," the doctor said.

*

Even an unlucky person could get lucky once in a while. Wen Qingshou was bound to a System.

He chose to seize this opportunity with both hands. After all, he had too many regrets left behind, didn't he?

"Hello, Host. This is the Derivative Worlds Department, and I'm your personal System."

"Hello." Qingshou smiled.

System: Why do I suddenly feel a chill? .jpg

"Our department manages derivative worlds. These worlds grow from the main world, so they're very unstable. They need Hosts like you to help stabilize them and get through the tribulation of becoming real. A world's source is its popularity..."

"So I need to create secret identities and build up popularity... and then everything I do will appear in animations and comics in a higher-dimensional world?"

"That's right..." the System said. "Derivative worlds have too many flaws, so they need new characters to fill in the gaps and earn popularity, helping the worlds get through their crises."

"So you're going to keep milking the same sheep, huh?" Qingshou made a joke that wasn't quite funny.

"Not exactly." The System struggled to defend the worlds. "It's just that derivative worlds really are unstable, and they have very little source energy, so..."

Please bear with us, Qingshou.

"I understand. This was a deal we both agreed to, after all." Wen Qingshou, or rather, Qingshou Wen, carefully read through the System's proposed agreement, then signed without hesitation.

"Then the contract is set. May fortune favor you in battle," the System wished him.

"Mm. May fortune favor us in battle. Here's to a happy partnership." Qingshou smiled at the System, which was producing little virtual flowers.

*

And so, to save the worlds and himself, Qingshou began his life as a secret identity specialist.

But can someone tell him if it's really okay for the original and the secret identities to be this close?

Secret Identity A, dark and twisted, sharp-tongued and tsundere detective: "Qingshou, cuddle with me~ Forget those idiots. They're all little brats!"

I won't die, so you lot will always be concubines.jpg

Secret Identity B, cold and distant scientist who goes crazy whenever he runs an experiment: "Qingshou, come here. I want a hug."

Sells cuteness with a perfectly straight face.jpg

Secret Identity C, an actual member of the liquor organization, a little mad bomber: "Qingshou is the best!"

Acts like an obedient little angel, but secretly targets the other secret identities like crazy.jpg

Secret Identity D, a rising star, a secretly unhinged police academy student: "Qingshou... is mine."

Murmuring under his breath.jpg Bright and sunny on the surface, dark in the eyes.jpg

Secret Identity E, chaos and order, a delightfully wicked killer who lives for fun: "Qingshou, I hope you'll always be happy~"

Everyone else is irrelevant. If they're in the way, kill them all. Indifferent.jpg

Secret Identity F, the rising sun, a student who has calculated every secret: "Qingshou! I want mango cake!"

Secretly pouting, planning to assassinate every secret identity except the original sooner or later.jpg

Qingshou Wen: Uh... System, is there something wrong with my secret identities?

System: ...There are no precedents. I'm just figuring things out as I go. I've never seen this before!

Maybe... it's something to do with you? Struggling.jpg

After all, you do have a split personality...

Qingshou: Well, thank you so much!

*

"System... Can you explain what's going on right now?"

System: "Uh... Maybe there's a problem with the world barrier. I'll go check!"

Qingshou: ...Can't get through to it anymore.

System: "I'm back, I'm back! The situation is..." Its voice cut off like a quail being strangled.

"Hmm? What's wrong?" Qingshou calmly scooped up some cream from his mango mousse, eating as he asked in an unhurried voice inside his mind.

"Host... The man in front of you is the great detective Edogawa Ranpo from Bungo Stray Dogs. He's known as the man who can see through everything. He's not that easy-to-tease little Edogawa!" The System shrieked like a screaming chicken.

"I know." Qingshou casually rubbed his ears. "He even bought me the mango mousse."

"Then why did you, Qingshou..."

"Hold on. First, tell me why I was just hanging out on the Detective Conan set next door and suddenly ended up on the Bungo Stray Dogs set." A shadow of inscrutable light flashed in Qingshou's eyes. "So the contract we signed can be changed after all..."

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b!" The System shook its head furiously where Qingshou couldn't see it. "This was just a mistake!"

"So..." Qingshou chuckled inwardly.

"We'll compensate you! It's just that you'll have to act in both worlds, Qingshou." The System's tone was a little servile.

"Wait, you mean the two worlds are going to merge?!" Qingshou almost lost his composure, but the cute greatest detective in Yokohama sitting across from him was absorbed in battling his dessert.

"Yes..." The System's voice grew weaker and weaker.

"So I'll have to stagger the appearances of my secret identities in both worlds, to keep the timelines from contradicting each other when the worlds merge." Qingshou fell silent.

"...We'll double the compensation. No, quintuple it!" After negotiating with the consciousnesses of both worlds, the System came back with a satisfactory reward for its Host.

"I suppose that could work." Qingshou smiled. "I'm only a master of time management. I've had that skill maxed out for ages."

Now that's professionalism! This is what you call professional!

"There's one more question..." Qingshou began.

"Go ahead, kiddo."

Qingshou ignored the System's nickname for him and calmly asked, "How are the two worlds' different worldviews supposed to merge?"

"After unanimous discussion, they decided to call all powers that aren't compatible with science [Superpowers]."

Qingshou fell into an odd silence. "So the little detective's Superpower is [The Grim Reaper of Humanity]?"

"No, it's [The ■■ That Never Falls]."

"? What does the censorship block stand for?"

"It's something that can grow."

Qingshou understood. What the Superpower ultimately grew into depended on people's experiences.

"Does everyone have one?"

"Yes, but an ordinary person might go their whole life without awakening the [Superpower] inside them."

"Characters who already have a certain amount of popularity..."

"Will definitely have [Superpowers]."

"These rules are naturally very favorable to people like me." Qingshou smiled, eyes bright.

"Of course! Would they dare say otherwise?" the System huffed proudly.

"The System is the best!" Qingshou cheerfully praised his System.

"W-well, of course!" The System was flustered.jpg

Huh? Why is the System screen so hot? .jpg

"Qingshou, stop talking to your friend inside your head and pay more attention to the great Ranpo right in front of you!" Ranpo said indistinctly, a smear of cream still at the corner of his mouth.

The System was stunned. "What?!"

"Relax, relax. He thinks the telepathy I use to chat with my other secret identities is my [Superpower]."

While speaking to the System in his mind, Qingshou smiled and said lightly, "Okay. I've been paying attention to you the whole time, Ranpo."

"Mm." Ranpo pouted. Qingshou was clearly still explaining something to his friend inside his head...

So unfair.jpg

Qingshou blinked, making a show of promising to make it up to him later.

"Fine, fine, go take care of your business. Next time, you're buying dessert for the great Ranpo." Ranpo wasn't unreasonable. He sensed that Qingshou was in a difficult position, so generously let him go.

"Then, if you'll excuse me." Qingshou picked up his hat from beside him and walked straight out of the cozy cafe.

"See you next time~" Ranpo waved happily, as if he knew they would definitely meet again.

"Mm." Qingshou smiled wryly.

*

"Qingshou, Qingshou, what did you mean when you said Ranpo thought our conversation was a Superpower?"

As soon as he left the cafe, the System in his mind started frantically pinging him.

"Just what it sounds like. While you were gone, I ran into Ranpo. Zibo kept calling me through the connection between our secret identities, so I simply pretended that my ability to communicate with them mentally was my Superpower."

"That was so risky! You can't joke around about getting your identity exposed... Qingshou, you know what the contract says will happen." The System spoke bluntly. Someone else might have taken it as a warning, but Qingshou knew his clueless System was just worried about him.

For once, he felt a little guilty, but he patiently explained. "But in the Detective Conan world, the Detective Conan cast has already accepted Zibo and the others, and they've been living there as real people for years. Ranpo's Super Deduction doesn't give him the truth out of thin air; he needs clues. He could tell that my connection with Zibo and the others was normal, so I just went along with it and admitted I could communicate with my subordinates telepathically. But as for him seeing that they're my secret identities... frankly, that's impossible unless the world consciousness gives Ranpo a cheat."

"Wait, wait. What subordinates?" The System was confused.

"Zibo and the others."

"...You came up with a whole backstory that fast?"

"Please don't doubt my professionalism."

"Besides, there's no other explanation that could make our strange relationship easier to understand."

Having the secret identities obsess over their boss was simpler and less absurd than having each of them meet Qingshou, then slowly become his white moonlight.

It also meant a lot less backstory to invent.

What?

You think he should pretend the secret identities don't know the original?

What kind of world-class joke is that? Never mind whether the secret identities themselves would agree. Just look at the way they can't hide how they feel about Qingshou...

Even the little tiger has noticed and thinks it's weird!

You want Zibo and the others to put on that act in front of a master scriptwriter...

Sure, they'd do fine acting out other scripts, since they're professionals. But having them act as if they don't know Qingshou...

You might as well kill them.jpg

PS: This story has more Bungo Stray Dogs than Detective Conan, and more Detective Conan than Jujutsu Kaisen. The interactions with the Detective Conan cast will appear as flashbacks.

PPS: This is the first time I've written a blurb this long. It could practically be chapter one of the novel... I'll revise the blurb, but the core idea won't change.

Posted on October 2, 2022 (screenshot for posterity)

Theme: Long live the pampered favorite!