I Woke Up to Find My School Had Exploded

[Unserious Blurb]

As a study-obsessed overachiever, Huang Qijiu worked hard to drag everyone around him into studying too:

He cultivated a socially anxious persona to avoid too much socializing and losing study time.

In class, he eagerly raised his hand and racked up points, all for the sake of letting his roommates slack off more.

In the dorm, he studied like crazy. When his roommate's computer broke, he even lent him his own, claiming he couldn't bear to see his roommate lose rank in a game because of faulty equipment.

Even though he could tell something was off about the school, he kept pushing himself and everyone else to study.

Until one day, he woke up and discovered the school had been blown up...

Damn! He still hasn't gotten his scholarship money!!!

*

Lately, strange supernatural incidents have been happening all over Qingcheng University. Bai Yixiu, the 388th-generation heir to a family of celestial masters and a member of the Ninth Bureau of Paranormal Management, was ordered by his superiors to investigate the university.

To that end, his superiors arranged for him to pose as a first-year student.

Then he met a roommate who was very kind to him. His roommate was reserved, but worried Bai Yixiu might get called on by the teacher while slacking off (searching for supernatural entities in the classroom), he overcame his social anxiety and raised his hand to answer questions.

When Bai Yixiu was gaming (actually holding a video conference with colleagues), his computer suddenly broke, and his frugal roommate lent him his most precious, beloved computer.

His roommate also brought him a lovingly prepared breakfast every day. Sure, Bai Yixiu paid for it, but the point was that his roommate brought him breakfast every single day, come rain or shine!

Bai Yixiu was conflicted. Did his roommate like him? Should he return his feelings? But as the heir to a family of celestial masters, could he really date an ordinary person? Would his parents try to break them up?

Before he could decide, the school exploded...

Great. The supernatural activity had gone off the charts, and the school couldn't take any more. Now he didn't have to rack his brains trying to find the entities hiding around campus, because the entire school was full of them!

[Serious Blurb] (A shattered blurb, since the school was blown up. Pick up the fragments and take a look.)

[The Wage-Slave Poetry Society]

Before the exams, nothing is certain. You and I could both be dark horses.

After the exams, everything is settled. You and I are both wage slaves.

The Wage-Slave Poetry Society welcomes you.

The society's vice president, Ma Zaichui, was puzzled. "If we're all going to be horses, what's the difference?"

"There's still a difference. After exams, there's also a bull flying around," said society president Niu Zaifei.

[The Weird Debate Team]

The Weird Debate Team: If you've got a mouth, come on in!

Anyone who makes it onto the debate team naturally has a mouth. A mouth is great: it can talk, and it can eat. Hey, hey, hey! Stop it! Your mouth isn't for eating your teammates!

Looking at the remains strewn across the floor, the debate team captain silently added another line to the recruitment poster: If your mouth isn't sharp, don't bother applying.

[Cafeteria] No Photography

The cafeteria manager and staff sincerely hoped students would eat well and enjoy their meals. That didn't stop the lunch ladies from following the manager's orders and skimping on the portions. Still, some naughty students kept taking photos of them and posting them online. But they hadn't done anything wrong. They only wanted every child to grow up healthy!

So, children entering the cafeteria aren't allowed to take photos~

[Dormitory] I Lost My Key

"I lost my key."

"Have you seen my key?"

Late at night, careless students would always forget their dorm keys.

But did you really hear them correctly?

Did they say "I lost my key," or "I'm going to die"?

So, to make sure all students stay safe, please don't leave your dorm after curfew, and don't make a racket~

[Teaching Building]

Please follow your class schedules and attend lessons in an orderly fashion.

1. [Classical Chinese Literature]

Teacher Zhang, who teaches Classical Chinese Literature, is a stuffy little old man. He always prepares his lessons carefully and teaches them diligently, but the school makes construction noise while he's lecturing, and the students talk loudly over him. Why won't anyone listen to his lessons? The little old man, who has spent most of his life teaching, is very sad.

Have they all learned the material already? Then write an essay with an open ending: "Flowers, yet not flowers; mist, yet not mist. The next line is __?"

2. [Psychology]

The psychology teacher has a doctorate from a prestigious university and even studied abroad. She just doesn't want her students to be useless, so she sets high standards. What's wrong with that? Why do all the students have such a poor opinion of her?

Who can answer this: What was Pavlov's dog? And remember to think of other examples~

3. [Modern and Contemporary Chinese Literature]

Teacher Lei, who teaches Modern and Contemporary Chinese Literature, is an excellent teacher. During the years she taught in a rural school, the average Chinese score of her class was only two points below that of the top class at the city's key school. She once had a much broader horizon ahead of her, but she married young. When the city education bureau found out, its leaders were full of regret, saying a rising star had fallen.

But did she really fall?

Students, who can tell us what "cannibalism" means in Diary of a Madman?

A broke, unhinged, scheming study fiend of a bottom × a cool, self-reassured celestial master heir of a top.

This story could also be called "Picking Up a School in the Human World."

#What? I majored in Chinese language and literature, and you want me to study archaeology before I can reclaim the history subject?#

P.S.

1. In one of the instances, the bottom will dress as a woman, for a little playful fun.

2. My take on infinite flow. It may lean more toward the occult and comedy.

3. It has a bit of both eastern and western mysticism, and the plot gets a little surreal.

4. Random bonus skits will appear in the author's notes.

5. More to be added if I think of anything.

Theme: Finding a better version of yourself.