After the Heavenly Realm Went Static, My Mortal Enemy and I Were Locked Up Together

Also known as "Anecdotes from the Heavenly Court's 21st-Century Pandemic Response"

Feng Xu x Shao Ran

A beautiful, irritating, sickly beauty bottom x a stern, gloomy, short-tempered top

One day, the Heavenly Lord was discussing affairs of state with his trusted ministers.

Then came an emergency notice: an immortal who had just returned from studying in the Western Heaven had tested positive. The entire celestial realm was immediately put under lockdown, and travel was restricted.

The Heavenly Court was sealed off.

The Heavenly Lord: "Let me out! I'm the Heavenly Lord!"

The Celestial Pandemic Control Office: "Even if you were my dad, you'd still have to stay inside."

And here's the problem: the Heavenly Court was an office. They could deal with everything else, but there was no food.

The Dragon God, Shao Ran, suggested, "Let's eat the Heavenly Lord. He's the youngest, so his meat will be tender."

A junior official was puzzled. "Haven't all of you lords abstained from eating?"

The Red Sun God, Feng Xu: "Darling, what we're doing now isn't abstaining from food. It's called starving ourselves."

But an even bigger problem than food and drink was this:

The Dragon God, Shao Ran, and the Red Sun God, Feng Xu, were a pair of sworn enemies known throughout the celestial realm. They once fought three hundred rounds over who got to stand closest to the Heavenly Lord, and beat the Heavenly Court's dragon pillars to dust.

Now that these two immortals had been locked up together, things were bound to get lively.

The first day they were locked up together

The ministers scavenged the vegetables the Heavenly Lord had stockpiled in the Heavenly Court.

But only Shao Ran knew how to cook.

Feng Xu: "I'd rather starve to death than eat food made by the Dragon God!"

Shao Ran: "You look down on my cooking?"

Then they started fighting.

The second day they were locked up together

The Pandemic Control Office announced an extended lockdown and opened online grocery shopping, with a daily limit of 200 orders.

Feng Xu and Shao Ran set an example by shopping for groceries themselves.

Everything sold out in one second, and neither of them got anything.

Feng Xu: "You're useless."

Shao Ran: "Thanks. So are you."

Then they started fighting.

The third day they were locked up together

Feng Xu coughed up blood.

Shao Ran: "Ha. See? You're useless after all."

Then they started fighting again.

The Nth day they were locked up together

Shao Ran's tail coiled around Feng Xu's waist. "Stop squirming. Let me kiss you, just once."

Feng Xu: "Kiss me if you want, but why are you biting my mouth?"

Shao Ran: "...I can't retract my fangs."

The Heavenly Lord happened to walk by and was deeply moved. "My two beloved ministers have finally stopped tearing the place apart and started fighting with their mouths instead. How refined, how refined!"

*Everyone has a responsibility to help prevent the spread of disease. This story is entirely fictional and should not be taken as a guide.

*A product of being stuck indoors for too long during the pandemic

Theme: Stay optimistic, keep your spirits up, and hold on to hope during the pandemic