I Pretend to Be a Mole in the Black Organization

A little background.

My name is Ochano Masayuki, and I'm a professional undercover agent.

My hobbies are painting the nails of the living and putting lipstick on the dead. Lately, I've had my eye on a certain silver-haired big shot in the organization. My dream is to paint his nails first, then put lipstick on him.

On some day in some month of some year

The world's most reliable big brother summoned me to a meeting.

Halfway through, Big Brother pointed a gun at me and made me kneel in front of one blond and two dark-haired men. He sneered that someone had identified me as an undercover agent, then asked what I had to say for myself.

Luckily, I thought fast. I immediately clung to Big Brother's leg and begged for mercy, crying so hard that snot and tears smeared all over his pant leg. In the end, Big Brother let me off out of sentiment for our past.

Afterward, Big Brother's driver took pity on me and explained that from then on, I had to work hard to make my undercover identity convincing. Every day I'd be teetering between blowing my cover and keeping it intact. My monthly KPI was how successfully I pretended to be an undercover agent. At the end of the year, there'd also be a comprehensive review, with the organization's Boss, second-in-command, and third-in-command gathering to pore over my work reports. Successfully letting a target escape without leaving a trace: +10. Sharing information with the police: +10. Drawing out a genuine undercover agent in the organization: +100.

Even when I messed something up, they'd scold me while helping me cover it up.

...They really trust me so much. I'm crying. This is definitely the easiest undercover job I've ever had.

Excerpt from Ochano Masayuki's private diary

Reader's guide:

You can tell from the blurb that the author left their brain out of this story. Don't ask me where it is. I lost too many times at Plants vs. Zombies, and the zombies ate my whole brain.

The heroine is a newly hired professional undercover agent, so she doesn't know any of the other undercover agents. Most likely, both the black and red sides will gang up on her.

Theme: The darkest hour is also the closest to dawn.