On the first day of filming the entertainment world's top reality dating show, Heartbeat Afterglow, Xu Xijin transmigrates from the apocalypse straight onto the livestream set.
The moment she opens her eyes, the screen is already filled with scrolling mockery and people watching for a train wreck.
Word is, she and her actor husband, Fu Qingzhang, are the industry's most notoriously fake couple.
Word is, she's useless at everything, a heavily promoted flop, and has topped the list of least-liked female celebrities for years.
Word is, she just landed on the trending page after pulling a public scowl during a livestream.
Faced with a brutal start, Xu Xijin takes a deep breath of the sweet, fresh air, so different from the apocalypse, and sighs happily beneath the bright sunshine:
I've missed this feeling of getting roasted through the internet!
*
The show officially begins.
As the designated controversy magnet, Xu Xijin is constantly prodded with questions obviously meant to stir up trouble. But through sheer force of will, she turns a dating show into a documentary about comedians.
During the chat segment, she's asked to describe a veteran actor's infamous hairstyle in three words.
Xu Xijin glances anxiously at his hairline, which looks like it's been pulled almost to the back of his head. “The Qing Dynasty is back.”
During the games, she gets a task: ask a question that no one present can answer.
Xu Xijin takes a thousand hits to deal eight hundred. “Name three of my hit works in ten seconds.”
During the live reading of mean comments, one telling her to leave the show and quit the entertainment industry is picked.
Xu Xijin smiles fondly at the camera. “You're just saying that because you're upset.”
At the same time, the actor couple who have been mocked endlessly as a fake marriage keep producing breathtakingly romantic pictures on the livestream.
[Sunset glow. The husband stands tall and solemn after returning from a shoot, while his darling wife rushes toward him, her eyes shining with delight. JPG]
What really happened:
Xu Xijin: Food, food, food! The restaurant is right up ahead!
Actor Fu: Based on wind speed, air density, and the angle of her run, she will step on my right foot in 0.5 seconds. I won't be able to avoid it.
[Red carpet, evening gown, camera flashes. A runaway bride's breathtaking tear and her devoted groom humbly clutching the edge of her dress. JPG]
What really happened:
Xu Xijin: If managing my expression under camera flashes is a basic skill for an entertainer, I'll hand in a zero.
Actor Fu: ...Then I'll fail with you today.
*
As the show airs, viewers all come around, and Xu Xijin, who has been a flop for years, finally becomes a sensation.
At first, watching Xu Xijin: What is this?
Later: What was I thinking?
At first, watching Heartbeat Afterglow: So beautiful, so sweet, they're perfect together!
Later: Everyone knows this is a comedy show.
And Fu Qingzhang, whose luck has been terrible for years and who had nearly given up hope, realizes that ever since he joined a dating show with his wife, his luck seems to have come back.
And it seems he's not the only one who feels that way.
Reader's Guide:
1. A goofy, sweet, satisfying story. The happiness fountain is flowing!
2. None of the characters are based on real people.
3. Check out the author's other goofy entertainment-industry stories, My Rival's Dog After I Got Cast on a Variety Show and I Turned the Villains In on a Survival Dating Show. Please add them to your reading list!
----- Advance Preview -----
On the night filming wrapped, Yu Yuan got tipsy and spent half the night clutching the black dog's food bowl on set, howling with envy.
The next morning, she woke up as a little puppy, just as she'd wished.
Yu Yuan, on the verge of a breakdown, cursed the heavens, but all that came out was a few tiny puppy yelps. Then she was jostled by a pile of big-bottomed puppies and nearly toppled out of the cage.
Just as she resigned herself to fighting for milk, she suddenly heard a familiar voice.
Pei Yanqing, filming a lifestyle variety show, walks into the pet shop with a camera crew behind him.
The man in the clean shirt is refined and gentle. The night before, they had parted on bad terms at the wrap party for their movie, and just a week ago, their fans had fought for the 108th time.
After one night, they now belong to different worlds: human and dog.
Still, at least they know each other. Yu Yuan shakes her butt like crazy to show off, and finally stands out from the pack, chosen to be the show's mascot.
A warm hand lifts her out of the cage. Yu Yuan lies unwillingly in the man's arms, but then he suddenly lifts her up to check whether she's male or female.
As the little puppy lets out a sudden howl, Pei Yanqing chuckles at the camera. “It's a girl. Let's call her Yuanyuan.”
Yu Yuan, halfway through her howl: “??? How much does he have to hate me?!”
Later, Yu Yuan discovers that he had realized who she was from the start.
Yu Yuan, stunned: “...How much does he have to love me?!”
*
Only after becoming the show's mascot does Yu Yuan realize that the number of her rivals on the show is so high that she suspects the production team picked them straight from her fans' list of celebrities they'd most like to secretly kill.
Even worse, the rivals who used to exchange glares with her whenever they met now spend all day calling her a puppy in their most sickeningly cutesy voices, and constantly try to pet her.
By comparison, Yu Yuan still prefers Pei Yanqing.
He doesn't talk much, but he's thoughtful. Like her, he's a neat freak, and he can make all kinds of little doggy lunch boxes for her.
Most importantly, he doesn't lose his mind and obsessively smother her with kisses.
So Yu Yuan follows him around every day.
They eat together, sleep together, and even when they go out, he carries her in a dog backpack.
Pei Yanqing's fans wail: “I never thought I'd be this jealous of a dog!”
Later, Yu Yuan switches to a routine where she's human by day and a dog by night.
By day, she promotes her new movie with Pei Yanqing. At night, she sees him again in a different way on the variety show.
Pei Yanqing's fans: “By day I'm jealous of Yu Yuan, and by night I'm jealous of Yuanyuan. What kind of cursed fate is this?!”
Yu Yuan (Yuanyuan), held in Pei Yanqing's arms as he strokes her head: Bet you didn't expect this. We're a human-and-dog romance that never ended.
[A cute little dog story]
Message: Cherish life and love living.
As a reader who first followed the author's other books and then came back to pursue this one, the author has not given any explanation for more than three months and has not updated as scheduled, nor has he fulfilled his promise to explain V. After more than three months of hiatus, I came back to catch up on a few updates and couldn't connect to the previous article. I can only say that I am really disappointed. Now I just hope that the author can fulfill his promise. Because with this way of handling, I don't have any hope for subsequent updates and the author's handling of it.
Damn, it's no good that you stopped updating. The content of the new chapter is very different from the previous one. It doesn't have that happy atmosphere. How about you read the previous article again and start again? There has been no update for more than 3 months. I have resumed updating, but I updated an article like this which really irritates customers.
If you don't update, give me your money back. I've finished writing my graduation thesis and you haven't updated yet???
How long will it take to return? If you don't want to write, just say it. Why do you keep putting it off?
Are you planning to take leave and go bankrupt in Jinjiang?
What are you doing. . . . . . How can it be delayed for so long?
? Forget it's short, author, what are you writing in this chapter? Does it have anything to do with the development of the previous article? I can't stand the break of updates. I can't stand the crappy writing you wrote.
I followed the first serial for n years. . . Author, I believe you again. . .
Didn't you say that we will be back on 2.28? [Crying loudly][Crying loudly][Crying loudly]
No, I still want to see the end of it. Watch it again often. I don't want to be a eunuch QAQ
As a reader who first followed the author's other books and then came back to pursue this one, the author has not given any explanation for more than three months and has not updated as scheduled, nor has he fulfilled his promise to explain V. After more than three months of hiatus, I came back to catch up on a few updates and couldn't connect to the previous article. I can only say that I am really disappointed. Now I just hope that the author can fulfill his promise. Because with this way of handling, I don't have any hope for subsequent updates and the author's handling of it.
Damn, it's no good that you stopped updating. The content of the new chapter is very different from the previous one. It doesn't have that happy atmosphere. How about you read the previous article again and start again? There has been no update for more than 3 months. I have resumed updating, but I updated an article like this which really irritates customers.
If you don't update, give me your money back. I've finished writing my graduation thesis and you haven't updated yet???
How long will it take to return? If you don't want to write, just say it. Why do you keep putting it off?
Are you planning to take leave and go bankrupt in Jinjiang?
What are you doing. . . . . . How can it be delayed for so long?
? Forget it's short, author, what are you writing in this chapter? Does it have anything to do with the development of the previous article? I can't stand the break of updates. I can't stand the crappy writing you wrote.
I followed the first serial for n years. . . Author, I believe you again. . .
Didn't you say that we will be back on 2.28? [Crying loudly][Crying loudly][Crying loudly]
No, I still want to see the end of it. Watch it again often. I don't want to be a eunuch QAQ