Welcome to the Boy Band Simulator

(I'm not planning to write Conan-themed stories anymore. Feel free to take this down. Sorry.) The protagonist is playing an entertainment-industry game: Become a Superstar! After clearing several endings where he reaches the top and unlocking the all-server achievement, this time he decides to try the boy-band route on hell difficulty. Every talent tag comes with a negative debuff. His previously cleared Movie Emperor and King of Pop routes are locked, his character settings can't be rerolled, and he is locked into three secret identities. With all that, he has to reach the top of the entertainment industry. Let's roll! Talent tags: [Voice Like an Angel] [Serious Illness] [Veteran Artist] [Obsessive] Talent tags: [Unparalleled Beauty] [Arrogant About His Talent] [Master of Both Lyrics and Composition] [Indie Bro] Talent tags: [Perfect Control of His Body] [Abstract] [Deep Voice] [Tone-Deaf] This run is so screwed. On the first day of the talent show, all three secret identities make their dazzling debut. Their hardcore death rock leaves the judges dumbfounded, and the next day they hit the trending searches as the most hated group on the internet: "The Chinese Entertainment Industry Is Finished" "What Is This Singing? It Sounds Like Ghosts Wailing" "Three Emo Kids" "They're Hurting the Audience's Ears and Eyes!" After the first public performance: "They're niche, but they seem kind of amazing" "Holy crap, Nuwa's graduation project! Please make good use of that face!" "Doesn't anyone think the third guy should compete in the Olympics?" By the end of the talent show: "Wait, are you three guarding the nation or what?" * After a normal boy band debuts, they usually promote their pairings with greasy wall pins, staged eye contact, and displays of brotherly affection. This group is just weird. Their fans are forever clarifying things online: "No, our boys really aren't gay! They're just good friends!" Viewers watch the livestream: two handsome guys huddled together, staring at the same screen. One holds the Switch while they take turns pressing the buttons, working in perfect sync as if they share a brain. They see the two rummage through each other's clothes in their shared wardrobe, and unlock each other's phone passwords with practiced ease. "Yeah, yeah, sure. Zhang Fei would never sleep with Guan Yu. You know, in that way." #TheEntertainmentCircleIsSoMessy# Theme: If it's hard to achieve, it's called a dream