So You're a Magician Too?

A plot bunny from 2021/10/20, screenshot saved. I'll decide whether to write it depending on how things go, but I'll definitely finish it. Hello, everyone. My name is Ritsuka Bruce Wayne, Gotham City's little prince, the richest man in town, and a permanent fixture on the newspaper front pages. I'm the biological son of Bruce Thomas Wayne, and I'm seventeen and a half. Apparently, after my Gotham darling of a dad had a passionate fling with my mom, Ms. Fujimaru, she left with a satisfied smile. To her great surprise, she discovered she'd hit the jackpot: a son with Dad's hair and eye color, and Mom's facial features. Yes, that kid is yours truly. When I was sixteen, my beloved mother was badly injured while coming to pick me up for pork cutlet rice, thanks to the local specialty, a damn explosive. As she lay in the ICU, overwhelmed with emotion, she told me to go ask my dad, who didn't even know I existed, for child support. Sure. I went. Without another word, I ran off to buy a plane ticket. Before I left, I happened to come across a blood donation bus. Thinking I could do some good and build up my karma, I let the nurse draw a tube of my blood. But I never boarded that plane, and I never met my dad, because I was forced to go save human order instead. Anyway, after going through all kinds of hardship and returning from some human order preservation agency, I found Gotham City and my dad there. Then I saw someone who looked remarkably familiar. Wasn't that the utterly ordinary church priest who'd gone hand-to-hand with a corrupted Red Archer in the war-torn city of Fuyuki? You call that ordinary?! I thought he was a Heroic Spirit! My dear old dad introduced him as his utterly ordinary adopted son, which made him my second older brother. ...Ah, yes. An utterly ordinary god... I mean, my utterly ordinary older brother. That night, my hard-won worldview was shattered once again. Dad! What are you doing with my first, second, third, and fourth older brothers and the can kid?! The first and second are one thing, but employing child labor is illegal, isn't it, Dad? Have those heartless capitalists started exploiting children, even alien children? Theme: Life is full of surprises and coincidences.