After Two Thousand Years of Giving My Wife the Cold Shoulder

[The stone that mended the sky × the little pine mushroom, a long-awaited reunion between two immortal species]

Song Rong has always thought of himself as a devoted monster. He fell in love for the first time and stayed in that relationship for three thousand years.

But whenever people ask about his mysterious lover, he just sighs and shakes his head. “We’re still giving each other the silent treatment…”

Friend: “How long has this been going on?”

Song Rong: “Over two thousand years, I guess.”

Friend: ?

Do you have some kind of misunderstanding about what “devoted” means?

Or about what “silent treatment” means?

His friend kindly reminds him, “Have you ever considered that maybe he broke up with you unilaterally, and has no intention of getting back together after all these years?”

Song Rong looks utterly disbelieving. “Impossible! Gu Xuanlang’s as stubborn as a rock. He’s definitely still waiting for me to reach out and make up with him!”

Friend: “He’s been waiting for over two thousand years?”

Song Rong: “H-he’s pretty devoted too.”

Friend: …

You’re not devoted.

You’re just long-lived.

Taking another look at this long-drawn-out relationship, Song Rong suddenly loses his confidence. He considers talking things out with Gu Xuanlang and parting on good terms.

The other party finally shows up to set the record straight, firmly refusing to let a mere two thousand years turn him from boyfriend into ex-boyfriend.

And another thing.

Gu Xuanlang: “It really has been a long time.”

Gu Xuanlang: “After all, I’m a stone left behind when Nuwa mended the sky.”

Gu Xuanlang: “Not only am I long-lasting, I’m rock-hard.”

After hearing that clarification, Song Rong is so mortified that a little pine mushroom sprouts from his head: “Hey, who asked you to clarify that?!”

*They gained their powers before the founding of the country; modern-day setting

*A carefree, sweet little story with some original worldbuilding. Don’t overanalyze it.

[Upcoming sweet fantasy danmei in the same setting: I Accidentally Picked Up a Dragon Tyrant as My Husband. Please add it to your reading list. Synopsis below.]

Zhou Jian’an, head of the Special Species Management Office, has only three hobbies:

First, collecting empty bottles and wastepaper boxes from work to sell for cash.

Second, hitting up big supermarkets after work for discounted goods.

Third, picking up strange little monsters of unknown origins and taking them home…

On a mission, he accidentally captures a little black snake that has just gained sentience. It’s weak and pitiful.

Zhou Jian’an figures that “Nineteen” is in poor health and needs proper guidance. Once it passes the monsters’ socialization assessment, he’ll find it an easy job at the Special Management Office, sweeping floors or wiping tables.

Later…

He looks at the hunk who’s almost two meters tall after transforming, with a six-pack, a huge appetite, and an obsession with showing off his body in public. Then he looks at his bank balance and falls into deep thought.

Maybe he should have the kid clean something else instead?

Now that it’s transformed, Zhou Jian’an has to get “Nineteen” an ID card.

Zhou Jian’an: “Species?”

Little black snake: “Li Dragon.”

Zhou Jian’an registers: “Immortal Species, Dragon.”

Zhou Jian’an: “Real name?”

Little black snake: “Xuanyuan Yuan.”

Zhou Jian’an registers: “Xue Yuanyuan.”

Fifteen working days later, the ancient true dragon Xuanyuan Yuan receives a human ID card bearing the name “Xue Yuanyuan.”

The “Twenty” Zhou Jian’an brings home is a little Western dragon. It can whimper, cuddle, and give its collection of gold coins to Daddy Zhou. Xuanyuan Yuan can’t stand the little guy and occasionally gives it a taste of the mysterious power of the ancient East.

When “Twenty” successfully transforms into a blond, blue-eyed foreign young man and clings to Zhou Jian’an, insisting they sleep together, Xuanyuan Yuan finally loses his patience and kicks him out of the house…

Along with him, he expels the Cthulhu, werewolves, and vampires at home who have long coveted Zhou Jian’an.

Zhou Jian’an is overflowing with fatherly love. He scolds the most troublesome kid in the house: “What exactly are you trying to do?”

Xuanyuan Yuan: “I want foreigners to die!”

Zhou Jian’an: …

Zhou Jian’an: “We’re in peacetime. We don’t say things like that.”

Zhou Jian’an: “Ask for something else, and I’ll grant it.”

Xuanyuan Yuan: “Then I want you to stay with me forever.”

Zhou Jian’an once again turns into a soft-hearted god and promises to care for him… them for as long as he lives.

Like a loving father.

Xuanyuan Yuan says on his own, “Then I want you to be my wife, and carve our names on the Three Lives Stone with me. We’ll stay together until the seas run dry and the stones crumble, immortal and eternal.”

The loving father is baffled.

The loving father is horrified.

The loving father wants to disown his son.

…

The loving father gives in.

Theme: Seeking a long-lasting, stable romantic relationship