Turns Out I'm the Honest One

See the previous story, The White Qilin Raising Guide. Now available.

I'm Shibusawa Tatsuhiko, a well-known straight shooter from a certain literary anime.

I'm freaking out right now.

I'm at Yokohama Bay Bridge, and a certain bandage-wearing guy is proposing to me.

I looked at the sea beside us, then at the clearly out-of-character little rabbit Dazai Osamu. I really wanted to shout, “Do you know you're OOC?” But I didn't dare. I even had the feeling that if I refused, he'd throw me into the sea.

At that moment, I remembered my former suitors.

A certain ex-husband: dead.

A certain pineapple head: lying in a dreamscape.

A certain high-ranking government official: we've already fallen out.

A certain ■■ consciousness: stabbed three times.

A certain rice ball: currently being enthusiastically hunted by the Russian authorities.

And so on, and so forth.

They used to tear each other apart, and I was the unlucky one who got caught in the middle.

In the end, some died and some were injured, leaving me a huge inheritance and a few kids to look after. I inherited it all with tears in my eyes.

So I firmly turned him down.

And then I really did fall into the sea. (forced smile.jpg)

Damn the Special Division for Unusual Powers! The railing's broken and they don't even bother to fix it. Tsk!

As my consciousness faded, the System that had run off with all my points twenty-seven years ago came looking for me again. Only then did I suddenly remember something I'd nearly forgotten.

I was once an ordinary person. I was a victim, tricked into coming to this world.

But I'd forgotten that.

Someone had made me forget who I really was.

I want to go home.

·

On an unspecified day in an unspecified year, in a certain parallel world, the Armed Detective Agency had just pulled the younger version of a white qilin out of the sea after resolving the Dead Apple incident.

Accompanying arrivals included:

Armed Detective Agency Oda Sakunosuke, Special Division for Unusual Powers Akutagawa, Mafia executive Ango

Yokohama: We can accept this, but it's a little confusing.

Black-hearted, caring Ranpo, girl detective Agatha, dignified and proper Master of Swords Gintoki, and kind, dependable senior Yumeno

Yokohama: ?

A mysterious, tender pet shop owner, a gloomy, world-weary organization leader, a dimensional witch well-versed in the occult, and an indescribable entity

Yokohama: Don't come any closer!

The long night stretches on, with no knowing where it will end. What is seen in dreams, who knows how many lifetimes ago?

Tales of the Tangled Grass

“Princess Kaguya will eventually don her feather robe and be taken back to the moon by the Celestials.”

“Then we'll kill the Celestials and burn the feather robe.”

Reader's guide:

1. This is an original-character, if-universe reverse-isekai story. It torments innocent characters from the original work, has a chaotic if plot, and a touch of old-fashioned melodrama.

2. It includes a fake-widow plotline. Shibusawa is the object of many unrequited feelings, and there probably isn't a pairing.

3. The protagonist is ill, physically frail and mentally unwell.

4. Everyone is a villain. They betray each other, there are endless twists, and none of them are good people.

Coming soon: The Greatest Debtor in the Literary World

I'm Naoki Sanjugo, a literary great.

At least, I was when I was alive.

After death, I reincarnated in the Imperial Library as an alchemical creation. I witnessed the Librarian's entire transformation from cafeteria lady to textile worker, then got thrown out of the library.

I set down the grilled wani in my hand and, under Akutagawa's resentful gaze, sighed, “Grilling wani in the courtyard. What a beautiful thing.”

And so, accompanied by Kikuchi Hiroshi shouting, “Pay me back!!!!” and a young Shirakaba couple riding their bicycles straight into the water, I got lost in all sorts of strange, forbidden books. I took my debt-collecting hobby to new heights, racked up a whopping 350 million in debt, then ran off with my little sister-in-law (not really)!

Little (famous) sister-in-law (work): Help me!

I have a lot of creditors.

Creditor number one is the fourth son of a prominent family. He became depressed, timid, and withdrawn, and is nowhere near as fun as Little Cherry. When we met again years later, it came as no surprise that he'd become mentally ill.

Creditor number two is one person, no, five police officers. I heard they were all classmates, but after just one short hibernation, I no longer had to pay that debt back.

Creditor number three is a military doctor who lost his beloved daughter and his comrades. Later, he joined the underworld and had a love-hate relationship with his fellow disciple. He's also a perverted lolicon.

Creditor number four is a red-haired narcoleptic (?), who dropped his sword just when I finally decided to pay him back out of a guilty conscience.

Damn, does this mean I don't have to pay the money back?

Theme: Break free of constraints and live as yourself.