The Villain’s Guide to Winning Himself Over

1. Wen Jianxue transmigrates into a cultivation novel as a cannon-fodder stand-in bride. After failing to poison the villain, he is brutally killed by him on their wedding night. Wen Jianxue arrives just in time for the wedding night. Wen Jianxue: What kind of horror movie is this? He keeps his cool and desperately tries to find a way to save himself. 2. On their wedding night, the villain, Xie Lang, pushes open the door and sees the male bride who failed to poison him. He intends to finish him off. But the bride, so beautiful he seems almost unreal, looks him over and says with disdain: “You’re my husband?” “You’re really good-looking. Too bad you’re useless.” “Never mind, I’ll support you. Just be a pretty ornament.” “When I got married, I heard you wouldn’t live past this winter. Remember to write a will before you die and leave all your property to me.” “If you don’t leave it to me, I won’t bury you after you die.” “Take my advice and don’t make trouble for yourself.” Xie Lang: ??? Xie Lang is deeply insulted. Killing Wen Jianxue would be letting him off too easily, so he puts away his sword and decides to torment him slowly. . In the middle of the night, Xie Lang pulls off Wen Jianxue’s blanket. He digs up bones from a grave to scare him. When he hears Wen Jianxue cares about his family, he diligently brings down the Wen family, then waits with a smile for Wen Jianxue to fall apart. But Wen Jianxue gets happier and more audacious by the day. When Xie Lang returns to his original form, Wen Jianxue even stuffs him into bed to warm it. Xie Lang: … The villain, Xie Lang, gets emo. He gives Wen Jianxue a fierce kiss and decides to torment him in a different way. . When the weak, useless man returns to his former peak, and even surpasses it, everyone rushes to curry favor and make amends. But who cares? Reader’s guide: ① This is absolutely a positive story. The seme doesn’t indiscriminately kill innocent people, and he gradually improves. It’s a redemption story! The “torment” in the story isn’t really torment at all; it actually helps the uke. ② An uncomplicated, positive transmigrator uke x a selfish seme who refuses to settle for mediocrity. ③ Once the seme falls in love, he gradually changes rather than transforming overnight. There’s no angst between the couple, and the story is fairly sweet, hence the sweet-romance tag. ④ The first version of this blurb was written on December 10, 2022. ⑤ I’m going through a writing slump, so updates may be irregular (I’ll try to make them consistent). ⑥ A coming-of-age protagonist. ⑦ A relatively slow burn. Please add my upcoming novel to your reading list: After Forcing a Depressed Dragon-Born Protagonist to Get His Act Together 1. Chongming is a System. Brimming with hope, it receives its very first mission: Help a Dragon-Born protagonist who was maliciously suppressed, reduced to a useless wreck, and led astray get back on track and become a powerful cultivator. Step one: bind with him. √ It happily seeks him out, explains its intentions, and hopes they can both win. But he’s sunk in pleasure, refuses to bind with it, and is so shameless he even tricks it. Its first mission goes badly, and Chongming “turns evil.” 2. Li Xianmiao just wants to be a delinquent. After a few months of loafing around, an otherworldly being suddenly shows up at his door. It immediately demands to bind with him and launches into a load of nonsense. He has no interest, tricks it into leaving, and before long it finds him again and binds with him without another word “Your mission is now available.” “Mission 1: Quit smoking and drinking, stay away from your bad-influence friends, and give up all entertainment. Complete the mission to receive a clue to returning to the path of cultivation. Fail, and all food will look like soft-bodied reptiles to you.” “Mission 2: Slay a hundred low-level demon beasts… The penalty is that you can spend only two spirit stones each month.” … Li Xianmiao’s smile vanishes. He snaps the armrest in two. Chongming is strong enough not to fear threats. It throws mission after mission at him, forcing him to get his act together, until a bolt of heavenly lightning scatters its powers. 3. It tries to hide what happened, but karma comes around: the truth comes out that very night. Seeing its Host’s hostile expression, it cautiously edges closer to win him over, but loses its footing and falls, splashing mud all over him. Chongming: … Chongming shuts down, digs a hole, and buries itself. No need for you to get your hands dirty, sir. This System knows how to manage itself. The next moment, he laughs and lets bygones be bygones. Wait… did playing cute get me off the hook? 4. Chongming discovers a whole new world. It spends every day in its Host’s pocket, acting cute and begging him to get his act together. Its Host is more obedient than ever, except for one thing: he likes to make all sorts of things for it to bathe in. One time, the bath was so hot it nearly cooked the whole orb. “It’ll be better in a little while,” its Host reassures it. It squirms against its Host, uncomfortable, and keeps squirming until midnight. Then, somehow, it turns into a person. Confused, it looks up into a pair of dark eyes. Li Xianmiao strokes its lips and laughs softly. “You’re just as beautiful as I imagined.” Chongming: ??? * [Host Cultivation Rules: Love yourself, your family, and the world.] Li Xianmiao: Okay. [Be eager to learn, ask questions, and keep studying.] Li Xianmiao: Okay. [Stay away from romance and keep yourself chaste.] Li Xianmiao: Okay. I’ll never fall for anyone. A playboy on the surface, a smiling schemer underneath seme x a fresh and adorable System uke A few things to know before reading: The seme isn’t a good person. He has health issues that affect his sex life (he’ll recover later). The uke isn’t technically human at first, so the text refers to it as “it,” not “him.” This novel is just for fun. Please don’t argue in the comments. Feel free to leave praise or criticism. Core theme: Keep your heart set on the light.