[Western Crossover] Speak Like a Human

[The idea is parked here for now; no telling when I'll actually start writing]

Alice's head is always noisy, and she can't keep her mouth shut. So she sincerely decides to seal her lips with tape and check herself into Arkham, where room and board are free.

One day, Arkham collapses completely. She sighs, packs up, slings a little bundle over her shoulder, and sets off on a journey.

First stop

Little Spider: "Hey, even though you don't look scared, walking alone through an empty alley is dangerous. But you're really pretty, and that makes you even more dangerous. No, I mean, of course you can choose which way to go..."

Alice's thoughts: "..."

Alice, delighted: That's more like it. Say whatever comes to mind and let my head be quiet.

Second stop

Tony: "Good grief, Old Popsicle, you really should go buy some clothes and get out of that secret identity."

Alice's thoughts: "You're so lonely, Old Popsicle."

Steve: "Tony..."

Alice's thoughts: "Thank you, Tony."

Alice, with a headache: Is it so hard to speak plainly?

Third stop

Batman glares at Red Hood: "..."

Alice's thoughts: "I hope you stop putting yourself in danger all the time. Come home for dinner sometime. Everyone misses you."

Red Hood glares back fiercely: "..."

Alice's thoughts: "That look. Ha, I'm used to it. At least the old guy isn't badly hurt."

Alice, breaking down: Damn it, your mouths aren't just decorations!

I'll figure out the pairing later (Red Can, Black Bat, Big Bluebird, Big Red). One-on-one.

Theme: Communication is the only way to solve problems.