The System Says She’s Hopelessly Single

Qin Xiaozhi, a third-rate Taoist, a perpetually single woman who receives a Lonely Frog every Qixi Festival.

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Then she gets bound to a Beloved by All System.

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[Congratulations on binding to the Beloved by All System. The System has arranged four big shots for you. They fall in love with you at first sight, go crazy for you, and bang their heads against walls for you. Don't hesitate, go find yourself a partner!]

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Qin Xiaozhi: ?

No, thanks.

The big shots bound to the conquest System all think the conquest will be a breeze.

She's just a poor, withdrawn girl who's pretty aside from her face and pretty average in every other respect.

The System gives them ten years to complete the conquest.

Ten years? Plenty of time.

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The modern world's Taoist grandmaster, hiding from his followers, coaxes the stubborn Qin Xiaozhi: "I'll trade the power to destroy heaven and earth for one kiss from you."

Qin Xiaozhi (coolly): Hello, 110? I'd like to report someone for spreading inappropriate content and promoting scams.

Grandmaster: ?

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The esports heartthrob wins three consecutive championships, then rushes over in the middle of the night and blocks Qin Xiaozhi at her door. "I want a reward."

Qin Xiaozhi (gesturing to a cabinet full of trophies and certificates): Take your pick.

Puppy: ???

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The vegetative CEO, bedridden for five years: "Marry me, and you can spend my billions however you like."

Qin Xiaozhi (thinking): Money I didn't earn doesn't feel right.

She works as a rehabilitation therapist and restores the CEO, a long-term vegetative patient, to his peak condition for five million.

The CEO circle is stunned. They all come asking her to divorce and remarry, with more than twenty vegetative patients waiting for her healing touch.

CEO: ...?

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The Evil God, born evil, twirls a strand of Qin Xiaozhi's hair and whispers in her ear, "If you love me, I will give you a baby."

Qin Xiaozhi (closing her eyes): I never went to school. I don't understand English.

The Evil God studies Chinese with fierce determination, gritting his teeth as he speaks one word at a time: "You love me, I can give you a baby."

The Evil God's followers, who wanted to cause trouble: QAQ What on earth did we summon?

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Three years pass, and the love meter hasn't budged.

But the family and friendship meters are nearly maxed out.

The big shots: *lighting cigarettes*

We apologize for our past arrogance and ignorance with a 360-degree flip qwq

1. A silly, brainless story made up on a whim

2. Some dark content, possibly sanity-draining

Theme: Respect what deserves respect, and understand what can be understood.