Are You Telling Me What to Do?

[Ding! Jianghu bulletin: This story will go premium at midnight on 12/11 (Saturday)! It’s a short story, and the main story will be complete before it leaves the free list.] 1. The great villain Feng Duanyun spent his whole life doing evil. As he lay dying, he had only one dream. If he had another life, perhaps he would be a good person. The great hero Jiang Tianyuan spent his whole life doing good. As he lay dying, he had just one wish. If he had another life, he probably wouldn’t be a good person again. Then the two died together, plunging off a cliff. When they opened their eyes again, they discovered they had switched bodies. To protect each other’s reputations, they had no choice but to learn from one another and behave according to each other’s habits. Feng Duanyun: “Doing evil means...” Jiang Tianyuan silently picks up a small stone and tosses it through the window of an old woman’s house by the roadside. Jiang Tianyuan: “Do not commit evil, however small!” Jiang Tianyuan: “Doing good means giving away your fortune to help the people!” Feng Duanyun takes out a small copper coin and tosses it through the old woman’s window by the roadside, too. Feng Duanyun: “...Do not fail to do good, however small.” They think they’re doing a perfect job of pretending, but in the eyes of everyone else in the jianghu... They’ve swapped weapons and even exchanged money pouches. They’re so intimate. Could these two be getting together?! 2. Feng Duanyun has never believed in fate. He doesn’t believe in karmic retribution. All his life, the only thing he’s believed in is the blade in his hand. Jiang Tianyuan is a little superstitious. He believes good and evil are repaid in kind, believes fate has its plans, and believes every encounter happens for the best. Like the time long ago when he became the villain, and the villain became him. Jiang Tianyuan: “It was meant to be.” Feng Duanyun: “...” Jiang Tianyuan: “That’s what the books say.” Feng Duanyun: “...” Jiang Tianyuan: “I think we should...” Feng Duanyun: “...You think you can tell me what to do?” Jiang Tianyuan nods firmly: “I’d like to tell you what to do.” I want to teach you the pleasures of the jianghu, and the tenderness beneath a hero’s bravado. I want to roam the world with you, singing with our swords in hand, wherever the mountains and rivers may lead. 3. Feng Duanyun: “...Say that in plain language.” Jiang Tianyuan: “I want to eat my way from the Western Regions to Jiangnan with you.” Feng Duanyun: “...” Jiang Tianyuan: “From the northern deserts to the Miao borderlands.” Feng Duanyun: “...” Jiang Tianyuan: “I really did have someone read our fortunes! Your fate is especially short of... me!” My next story~ "When the Nitpicker Turns Over a New Leaf" Xie Shenxuan is the most talented scholar in the capital, but his sharp tongue has earned him countless enemies at court. After recovering from a serious illness, he suddenly sees words floating above people’s heads, spelling out their murderous intentions toward him. Even the emperor has the words “I really want to cut his head off” floating above his head. To save his life, Xie Shenxuan has no choice but to rein himself in and become the emperor’s most obedient subject. He even agrees to teach a class of spoiled rich kids in the worst class at the Imperial Academy. Then he meets Zhu Ye, Commander of the Black Shadow Guards. There are no words above Zhu Ye’s head. Not knowing whether Zhu Ye likes him or loathes him, and afraid Zhu Ye might want to kill him too, Xie Shenxuan racks his brains every time they meet, doing his utmost to heap every compliment he can think of on Zhu Ye. Zhu Ye is ruthless and decisive. Xie Shenxuan: “Swift and decisive! A true commander!” Zhu Ye’s gaze is cold, and everyone fears him. Xie Shenxuan: “There’s a murderous glint in his eyes!” Zhu Ye wields great power and is feared by all. Xie Shenxuan: “A man who’s passionate about his career is so handsome.” Zhu Ye: “...” He nitpicks the entire court, but only showers me with compliments. Wait, is this what love is? Zhu Ye, Commander of the Black Shadow Guards, is ordered by His Majesty to keep watch over the officials. He’s supposed to write down the names of everyone the emperor can’t stand in his little notebook. And Xie Shenxuan happens to see the notebook. He opens it and discovers that every page is covered with his name. Xie Shenxuan angered the emperor. Xie Shenxuan offended His Majesty. Xie Shenxuan... Zhu Ye fills the entire notebook with Xie Shenxuan’s offenses, but after every charge that makes the emperor furious, Zhu Ye has added a line in small handwriting. “Rather cute” “Quite interesting” “He’s not wrong” “...Tomorrow, I’m asking him to go flower-viewing with me.” Theme: Do not fail to do good, however small, and do not commit evil, however small