What Could a Little Bamboo Shoot Spirit Possibly Do Wrong?

Duo Siwen, a half-breed little bamboo shoot sprite, transmigrates into a book, becoming the Mary Sue heroine of a novel. She's fought over by a group of carnivorous, sliced-up male leads and has countless locked rooms to her name.

The little bamboo shoot refuses: Lock a bamboo shoot in a dark room and it'll wilt.

To avoid wilting, she decides to run away, but doesn't get far. The System tells her she'll be erased if she doesn't follow the plot, so she reluctantly follows it through her tears.

System: Please praise Male Lead No. 1 for smelling wonderful, and seduce him with your most innocent demeanor.

Little Bamboo Shoot: OK!

She leans toward Male Lead No. 1 and takes a gentle sniff. With pure innocence in her eyes, the girl exclaims, "You smell so nice, fresh yet with a hint of coolness. Could this wonderful scent be the legendary... Wind and Oil Jing?"

Male Lead No. 1 freezes. Does he smell like medicated oil?

System: When Male Lead No. 2 happens to look your way, smile at him so he falls head over heels.

Little Bamboo Shoot: OK!

When Male Lead No. 2 looks over, the little bamboo shoot raises her head slightly and gazes at him amid a riot of flowers, dimples appearing in her cheeks. Just as Male Lead No. 2 is staring in a daze, her smile grows even wider, showing off her pearly white teeth, with a piece of seaweed stuck to one of her front teeth.

Male Lead No. 2 stares in shock and walks straight into a pillar.

System: At the banquet, accidentally spill your drink on Male Lead No. 3. Apologize to him pitifully and stir his protective instincts.

Little Bamboo Shoot: OK!

At the banquet, the little bamboo shoot teeters in her high heels toward Male Lead No. 3's broad, solid chest. With a flick of her wrist, the liquid in her glass flies true and lands squarely in the mouth of Male Lead No. 3, who is chatting with someone. Then the little bamboo shoot apologizes pitifully: "I'm sorry. This is an 88-year-old cola that was really hard to find. You have to pay me back for it."

Male Lead No. 3 bolts straight for the restroom.

After the little bamboo shoot's series of antics, the System, now thoroughly traumatized by the word "OK," gives up and prepares to demolish the dark rooms from the original novel. Just as it is about to get started, someone pushes it aside. The System stares in stunned disbelief as Male Leads No. 1, 2, 3... stride into the dark room in orderly fashion and wait quietly and obediently for the little bamboo shoot to come find them.

The System slowly types out a question mark: Little Bamboo Shoot, what did you do?

The little bamboo shoot gives a bamboo-sprout-y grin. "Hehe, I just told them I like gentle, virtuous men who don't fight for attention and get along with everyone."

Content warnings:

1: The male lead is split into multiple versions, who eventually merge. One-on-one romance.

2: The female lead isn't human. She's a natural-born bamboo shoot, though not purely bamboo, as she has another bloodline too. She's wicked and a bit of a jerk, but everyone loves her.

3: The plot runs on childlike logic and brainless nonsense, with exaggerated plot points and an extremely Mary Sue setup. Don't think too hard while reading, or you'll get mad. Feel free to point out problems, but please don't insult anyone~

Please check out my upcoming stories~

[Upcoming 1] "The Male Lead and the Villain Both Want to Raise Me"

Aaoa is a little evil dragon. If she can make it on her own in the human world until she's eighteen, she'll be able to unite the world and become an evil, all-powerful overlord.

But on her first day in the human world, two idiots with nothing going for them but their looks set their sights on her. They insist she's their three-year-old little sister and try to take her home to raise her.

Aaoa: I'm three hundred years old!

She runs for her life on little legs, swearing under her breath.

Aaoa has just returned to the hard-won territory she's conquered, a free public restroom in a park built to look like a palace, and is about to rest when the aloof, noble male lead carries her away.

Aaoa has just managed, after putting in all her strength, to tame a mount, a goose out for a stroll. She's about to ride it and survey her vast domain when the gloomy, violent villain picks her up and takes her back.

Aaoa has just gone to great lengths to capture some fresh, plump rations, a group of zombie extras diligently working in a haunted house, and is about to enjoy her meal when the male lead carries her away again.

Aaoa has unleashed her dragon's majesty and used her dragon charm to win over a group of top-tier beauties, idols who came to an event. She's just about to indulge in a life of debauchery when the villain picks her up and takes her back again.

Aaoa: Why is it so hard to be an independent dragon who stands on her own and doesn't depend on anyone?!

#A baby dragon with a sour face: Stop spoiling me, damn it. Thanks.#

#Two giant obstacles on my road to becoming overlord of the world keep saying they love me.#

#If you love me, get lost! Ah!#

Content warnings:

1: No BL plotline.

2: The baby dragon doesn't swear in the story. She's a civilized evil dragon.

3: The baby dragon isn't a good kid. She bares her teeth, is fiercely ferocious, and loves to roar.

[Upcoming 2] "After the Divorce, I Stopped Being Human"

Qiao Qiao has loved Yue Cheng in an unrequited, humble way for seven years and has been married to him for two. Because he doesn't love her, she switched careers from being a little spirit medium to becoming an actress. During their two years together, she didn't even dare tell anyone that the sixth young master of the Yue family, the man every woman wanted to sleep with, was her husband.

One day, on a whim, she casts a divination and learns that the world she lives in is actually a book.

Yue Cheng didn't marry her because he loved her. He married her to take revenge because she had caused the death of his beloved.

But Yue Cheng's beloved isn't dead. Two years after Yue Cheng marries her, his beloved will return with her memories gone, and the two of them will rekindle their old romance.

Meanwhile, she will suffer from a terminal illness as retribution for her supposed sins. When she dies, Yue Cheng won't even come to see her, and she'll meet a pitiful, utterly lonely end.

Qiao Qiao looks at the plot she's divined, then at her husband, who subjects her to cold violence every day. She falls backward and obediently drops dead.

After she gives up her mortal body and returns as a god, she sees Yue Cheng, who seems to have no human feelings, standing before her urn, stroking her photograph. His voice is hoarse as he says, "It was my fault. Please come back."

Content warning: The male lead will not be changed.

Theme: Love means sharing, not possessing.