Am I Wrong to Fall in Love with Crime and Punishment?

Love is a blend of girlish fantasies and innocence, hiding countless extraordinary events.

Of all the people in the world, I chose you. We're absolutely perfect for each other.

Those were my boyfriend's words (he was just humoring me).

My boyfriend is a helpless, adorable little rice ball. He works hard, stays up all night, helps people without asking for anything in return, and does it all for his grand ideal.

World peace...

What a noble ideal!

That great ideal, combined with his gorgeous looks, made me fall for him shamelessly.

*Scene One

My adorable rice ball was so fragile, pitiful, and helpless. He could pout and act cute, and the Wi-Fi in his room was amazing. I fell for him, and after our nosy neighbor the civet cat egged me on, I bought a ring and planned to propose.

But the day before the proposal, my helpless boyfriend disappeared.

I was convinced he was turning me down gently. I spent three days and nights drinking vodka at bars, then went to Siberia to pet bears, and only barely managed to soothe my broken heart.

Just when I was heartbroken and wondering whether to start over with the handsome guy I'd run into on the street...

He came back. Completely out of character, he left his basement, ended his shut-in life, went on dates with me every day, stayed close by my side, and even accepted my proposal.

I was so moved by how dramatically he had changed, as if he'd been given a complete makeover in prison, that I burst into tears. For a while, I even thought he'd hit his head.

At our wedding, another rice ball suddenly appeared, staring blankly at the suited rice ball about to exchange rings. He looked as if his own wife had cheated on him with another version of himself.

Later, I found out...

My boyfriend, the one who'd been dating me, could split in two!

Hey! Which one of you is my rice ball?

*Scene Two

One day, I saw my sickly boyfriend, who couldn't lift a finger and panted after just walking a few steps, smiling as he gave a poor passerby a head pat.

He wiped his hands, turned back to me with a brilliant smile, and asked what we should have for dinner, with a blood-spattered scene of censored tomatoes behind him.

I smiled awkwardly but politely.

Another rice ball popped out from behind me, looking so horrified he nearly fainted, then curled up in my arms like a frightened little bird.

Holding the pretty boy in my arms, I smiled wickedly and raised my middle finger at the one across from us.

"Get back to the sushi shop! You fake rice ball!"

*OOC warning: If this hits a sore spot, please leave!

*This is a silly story, so please don't expect too much logic!

Theme: The benefits of sorting your garbage